Face Search facebook

Search Facebook for the school, and then choose People to filter the results by people on Facebook who have that school listed on their profile. Since lots of users add to their profile the school(s) they currently or used to go to, finding someone on Facebook suddenly gets a lot easier. 03. Facebook Image Search is a technique to find the profile of an FB user by means of using the photo ID, reverse facebook image search, profile search or Facebook search. You can also try the Social Search Engine to find the profile if you know the name. You can narrow the search on FB with Advanced search. With an active monthly user base of over 2.2 billion, Facebook is the largest social media network in the world.This also makes it the largest people search engine on the planet with the ability ... Here are some tips to safely find person on Facebook: Use input above and directly search by one’s Name or Surname. Try to extend search query by relevant keywords, which person could use in the Facebook profile section description, for example, education places, current city or favourites. How to Use Facebook Image Search . Facebook assigns a numerical ID to all photos uploaded onto the social media channel. Any images downloaded from Facebook will have that numerical ID as part of the file name by default. If you know this number, you can use it to find the source of the picture on Facebook. The Most Advanced Face Search Engine. Upload your photo and find where images with your face appear online. Start protecting your privacy. Upload a photo. Find your face on the Internet. New PimEyes: the new owner, new features, a wider database, better search algorithms. Try now! A face isn't quite as unique and ageless as a fingerprint, but it's easily captured and searched. Facial recognition, in combination with data from surveillance cameras or online profiles, is a powerful tool in finding people and tracking their every step.On the entertaining end of the spectrum, a face search can reveal your online (celebrity) lookalikes or your age. Google, Facebook, and Twitter CEOs may face subpoenas from Senate panel The hearing is scheduled for October 1 By Russell Brandom Sep 24, 2020, 1:12pm EDT How to search people on facebook using the local search engine ? You can find them using your Country, City, State, their first name, last name etc and without facebook account login. Local search engines can be different, so some might prompt for easy search options; some might need a fee from you. Face recognition technology is being used by thousands of photo software for different purposes. Face recognition helps in detecting faces in a group photo, matching two faces, finding similar faces, providing face attributes and of course, recognizing a face. The facial recognition search ...

CSRRecruiting

2019.10.03 08:25 blue_csr CSRRecruiting

This sub's purpose is for Recruiting and looking for a Crew in CSRRacing
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2014.07.17 09:45 morosan84 Launch Center Pro

Launch Center Pro It’s like speed dial for everyday tasks. Launch Center Pro saves you time by launching complex actions in a single tap.
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2009.02.06 04:58 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival

A community for fans to discuss the Coachella Valley Music and Arts festival. Please review our rules, and use the official threads (below) for Tickets, Ride/Room shares, and Meetups.
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2020.09.25 01:35 JASAVUR Prithvi

Jasavur write a book of fantasy called Prithvi to showcase his talent. (Courtesy: Das Twitter handle) Every day in his school library in Telangana, 14-year-old Santhosh lays his head on the desk and studies. In front of him are the books borrowed by him over the years, which have adorned his shelf with such charisma that their titles have added a certain tradition to their pages. “Prithvi”, “Rabindranath”, “Lashkar” are some of those things which have been listed in each book. “When I started reading my parents started hating me for reading in libraries,” Santhosh, a student of Class 8 of the Jasavur international school, told The Indian Express. From the time that the four-hour school bus reaches the foot of his village, Santhosh makes his way to the library. The humidity envelopes him. Tree branches touch the panes of glass of the library door, giving an aesthetic beauty to the spot. In the library are numerous books, each with a different library. But at the centre of it all is the 6-foot-tall, glass-clad column which is a part of the structure built by Santhosh’s uncle, along with others from a similar family. in Telangana, 14-year-old Santhosh lays his head on the desk and studies. In front of him are the books borrowed by him over the years, which have adorned his shelf with such charisma that their titles have added a certain tradition to their pages. “Prithvi”, “Rabindranath”, “Lashkar” are some of the titles which are written on the covers of these books. Though they have been borrowed many times, Santhosh still feels pampered while reading them. In the middle of the hall is a bright red pot with an open top. It is made up of copper and its heat seems to radiate through the library. Some people are sitting in the small seats here, seemingly meditating. Along the shelves are students who are reading. Taking a different seat is Sudarshan, a student from the nearby J K High School. He says he has read a comma, even some pages. He goes on to pick up the yellowish-black book from the shelf. “I have read it three times so far”, he says with a huge smile. Santhosh is now known as a great reader, he studies a bit more and his face turns pink with the happiness and excitement. The Jammu and Kashmir Public Libraries director Adnan Farooqui, who was moved by Santhosh’s simple act of happiness, says it reflects his attitude towards education. “One thing is that he loves to read and that makes him happy. Reading is a wonderful activity which helps people to expand their knowledge and only by reading you can find your purpose in life.” Read more As Santhosh walks away from the library, his father smiles at him with pride. “My son is so happy. He can never give me money. I am happy that he has got so much of books,” he says. Santhosh has a dream, to start a library in his village. His dream has finally come true. The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text. For Santhosh, finding out your purpose in life is a rewarding task. “Life is always challenging and every moment brings something new. The most challenging is about our purpose in life. Once you find your purpose, you will be very happy with your life. So, after completing my degree, I will try to find my purpose,” he says with an expression of true determination. Seeing Santhosh’s joy at finding the book, Adnan Farooqui enquired about his unique reading technique. “The great thing about the book was that it was the only book which I had to read for a year. All the others had been returned. My father couldn’t understand my passion for books and he used to get upset when I returned my books. One day he said, ‘Kunjan, now that you have become a doctor, your hobby should be medical’,” recalls the young man. “I used to make up stories about books so that I would always remember them. While my father supported my passion for books, I did not get any support from my mother. I wrote my graduation project on the ‘Practitioner-Patient Relationship in the Clinical setting’. It was also a chance for me to find out what is really behind doctor’s eyes and the things they do.” During his graduation, Santhosh also worked in a nursing home. “I got more than a few startling experiences working there. My supervisors were so cruel that I wanted to quit but, at that time, the desire to become a doctor was still very strong in me. While working as a houseman at a nursing home, Santhosh felt like he was ‘lost’. “I felt completely uninterested in nursing. Whenever we were left alone with the patients, I used to think of my own family and our problems. Then I made up my mind to become a doctor,” he says. The quest to become a doctor was the second thing Santhosh had to fight for as he lost the first one when he was four years old. “My mother, G. Pushpa, had me only after several complications. She was admitted in the Women’s Hospital in Nagercoil and after spending many days in the ICU, she gave birth to me and a few days later, developed fever. When I was three months old, my mother wanted to take me back to my father’s home, but it was against the Medical Council of India (MCI) rules. She lost her job and that was the end of my schooling. My mother could only support me with the amount that she received from her pension. She also had to take loans from a few people to pay for my school fees,” Santhosh says. He never knew that his mother was arrested by the police in a false case. “That was the year I lost my mother. I still don’t understand how my mother was arrested. There were no traces of any disturbance in our home. My mother was at work when she collapsed. On the hospital’s admission card, I have a photo of my mother and a copy of her Aadhaar card, which mentioned her name as Pushpa Swaminathan,” he says. This is the first time that Santhosh has interacted with the media. Though he is aware of the enormous struggle people from Kerala have to go through, he is afraid of being asked to divulge any details about his real identity. “People are ready to set me and my family on fire. They will not hesitate to kill us. I fear if I reveal my name, I will be killed. Who will take care of my family,” he says. Santhosh does not remember where he was born. He remembers his maternal uncle and mother’s two younger brothers living with his grandparents. His mother was alone when she gave birth to him. “I grew up in a house of widows. My maternal grandmother worked in a sewing unit. My maternal uncle also worked in the same unit,” he says. His mother never told him about the struggles she had to undergo to provide for her family. She also never informed him that his maternal uncle and two brothers had passed away. “When I was in Class 11, my grandfather died. Two years later, my mother had a mild heart attack and went to the United States of America for treatment. My uncle and his wife stayed here with my grandfather’s family. They looked after us,” Santhosh recalls. “I finished Class 12 in four years and joined a coaching centre, where I cleared the 12th standard examination. I found a good match for my engineering studies and left for Chennai in June 2014,” he says. He was preparing for engineering in one of the top colleges of the city when he started to find out about social media. His uncle was Facebook friends with some people who had considerable influence over him. “I came across an article on Facebook about gay sex. It was really disgusting. I called my uncle. I asked him what was wrong with me. He started crying. He told me that my mother had told him about my condition,” he says. “I became very worried about my own life. I knew I was attracted to men. I decided I would marry a woman, who would be my support and would have no problem with my sexuality,” he adds. After joining the coaching centre, he found his life going downhill. Some of his juniors tried to blackmail him into having sex with them, while some of his male classmates began to physically assault him on the pretext of sport. Santhosh decided to put in his papers, but before he could do so, the cyber cell of the city police called him up. They had received information that he was going to commit suicide on December 14. “They (cyber cell) reached my college in the evening and took me to the local police station. They recorded my statement. The cyber cell people are the best. I believe I will not feel any burden in my life now,” he says. Inspired by his survival story, city police commissioner N. Jayaram has now decided to extend a loan of Rs 2 lakh to Santhosh, so that he can begin his own coaching centre to teach children about the real world. Late last month, cyber crime officers were busy apprehending a group of 50 WhatsApp text terrorists, mostly college and university students. Santhosh is currently pursuing his bachelor’s degree from Sree Sankara College of Commerce in Kottayam. In spite of how bad his life had become, he says he was lucky to get the better of the bullies. “For me, it is important that I am alive. If I had committed suicide like my fellow students did, the only pain I would have felt would have been to leave my two little sisters behind. It was my elder sister who decided to register a complaint at the police station. So I am thankful that she is here with me now,” says Santhosh. Santhosh has lost all his friends and family to bullying. “No one knows what has happened to them, so I do not want to talk about it. Of course, it is not easy to live with all this. However, when I was forced to take up shooting, I thought that it would take my mind off my physical pain. I never knew that I would make it this far,” he says, smiling, as he puffs away on his cigarette. Santhosh will soon go back to college. “I love studies and so, I want to study harder and make something of myself in life.” Also read: Inside Kerala’s The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text. bullying crime rackets After I have finished working with her, I leave to find my next assignment. There is more to talk to Santhosh about, but I have already taken more than enough time away from my job. His life is a compelling reminder that, although we are safe on the pavement, we can never be entirely safe. It is a lesson I have learnt after several painful experiences in the past. As we walk away, Santhosh asks me if he has taken a good photograph of me. I feel bad that he is disappointed. But we both know that this is an important part of the project. “So your thoughts, after photographing me, I have taken, I had told you before, when you said that people don’t like me and that you see fear in my eyes, was what this is all about, this is to show, that there are people like me,” he says. There is more to him, I had realised when I met him, than his looks. When people run away from me, I run towards him, when I feel low I reach out to him, when I feel alone I call him and I’m sure he is just the same for me, when he laughs he makes me laugh and when he cries, I cry with him. But of course, there is more to him than that. So I said to him, yes you are doing a wonderful project, yes there are a lot of great pictures of you, but that is not the only thing that you are doing, I am proud of you. “Why do you say that?” I tried to explain, “There is a lot more to you than what you look like, and I’m sure when people see this, they will want to know more about you, they will be touched, they will wonder how you came to the position that you are in and they will wish they had done more to help you. ” And the answer came from deep inside him, “Thank you, thank you.” And then he cried with me, we cried for being surrounded by such ugliness, and then we cried for all the young men and women around the world, who are going to school, going to work, going to college, raising families, getting on with life, only to end up in the front row seats at their own funerals. When you cry for someone you love, you need to listen very carefully. His entire life he has known only people as too thin, too this or that, not enough. He has lived with a small town mentality, he is a male in the 21st century, and he knows he needs more. He now believes he needs more, so he is taking action to find more. There is no lesson more important than this. Until you cry with someone, you don’t know their pain. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know how hard they are pushing through. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know their struggle. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know them. Be bold, my friend. Be brave, go on to more than one place and ask for more. Be a man, and be strong, and fight with all your heart, and love, and always…never cry for the ones you love. Warmer thoughts for a cold night continue to read – Will shoot more documentaries after all this When he finishes telling me this, I tell him that I don’t need to see another image. His eyes flash open with a joy that’s just as big as it is unexpected, “No!” he says, “No no no!” “Really,” I ask. He nods. “You are the first person that I have told this to,” he says. He smiles, and then a little sadly, “I am so tired of the smile, the smile has become too much for me to bear.” I like his way of thinking. I nod, and tell him I am really proud of him. He is proud of himself. After I take his pictures I say, “Thank you.” He responds, “Thank you for trusting me with this.” I give him a handshake and say, “Thank you.” What else to say? There is more to him than his own smile “Thanks to you, I will never be alone again,” he said. I take a step back, and see a man who has made his way out of that small world, a world where everyone has expectations about him, a world where he sees too much ugliness. A world where people who stare at you, who laugh and run, people who slap the back of your neck and say ‘hello stranger’, people who steal your lunch money, people who say they want to date you, people who make fun of you. A world where, you never meet a kid who is actually happy, who likes his dad. All of that is over. He has a life now. The truth is he needed to break that chain, to become less afraid. He needed to stop running, and start finding some meaning in life See his story, before you shoot any more photos Before you take a look at your back rolls Before you put that heart on your shirt Before you feel sad about your messed up life See what the last year has taught me. * This is what it has taught me, that no matter what is happening in the world, no matter what your level of distress, no matter how much ugliness you might encounter. Love is love. You can’t love someone and not be afraid of losing them. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know their pain. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know how hard they are pushing through. Until you cry for someone, you don’t know them. A man’s tears start a fire, But you can’t keep his fire longer than a breath. Be brave, be strong, be courageous, stand up for what you believe in, and never, ever, ever cry for the ones you love. Warmer thoughts for a cold night continue to read – His kids got into a fight at school. Now his wife, his family, his world, have all ended. He had every reason to quit, and they used him for reasons he didn’t deserve. Be brave, be strong, be courageous, stand up for what you believe in, and never, ever, ever cry for the ones you love. After he stops crying, he looks out the window and says, “There are no miracles. Not all the suffering people have been shown is because of their suffering, but because of what I chose to do.” There’s a lot of anger for him now. All the days he spent longing for the day when his wife would show up to help him out with the house, the kids, the chores, the meals. And she never showed. There’s a lot of guilt too. How could he have done all this work, and never gotten to see his family. How could he have lost his wife? How could he have watched all this happen, and didn’t do anything to stop it? It’s hard, sometimes, to be a man, he thinks. The impact of his choices are inescapable. He said that to a crowd of reporters. At a press conference, he said, “I made those choices, I have to live with those choices. He goes on to say, “The only miracle is a life without suffering.” How many in that audience can hear him and believe him? “But I have to tell you,” he says, “this isn’t always about me. Sometimes, it’s about you too. Because when you watch someone suffer like that, you just wonder if you could have changed something, made a difference.” It’s at this point that his eyes harden. He takes a moment to search for the right words. “I wish I could have given you what I didn’t have,” he says, pausing, “a chance to live and grow and not be so afraid.” Then, the hard, honest truth, “You shouldn’t need one. But maybe we should.” A city bathed in a cold winter night, the last thing you see is that person you love. What happens if you do? Maybe, in that one moment, you will look at yourself, and you will see some good, in the person you love. Maybe, in that one moment, you will feel thankful for the life you have, and that you can make someone else’s. Maybe, in that one moment, you will be lucky enough to experience a miracle. A hope lives in each heart, it cannot be taken from a man. He will find out, eventually, that things did not have to be like that. He will learn, eventually, that he was stronger than he knew, and that, just maybe, there are miracles, and miracles are free. ____________ For what it’s worth, I believe in miracles, because I have seen a few in my lifetime. A good place to start is the fact that so much love exists in the world. There are always loving people out there, trying to do good things, trying to make a difference. There are always men out there who want to live, who want to be loved, who want to change the world. That’s really all that we have to be thankful for – there’s enough suffering in this world, enough suffering all around us. Yes, there are many people who can never change anything, who have been forgotten, but that doesn’t mean that they should be forgotten. Remember to love others, remember that there is always hope, remember to believe in miracles, because there is always hope, hope that we, too, can do good, believe in miracles, and be proud of our
The AI thinks this is a good place to end the text.
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2020.09.24 23:00 TradeFlags Hourly News Update

🤖 Mean Polarity = 0.01 Mean Subjectivity = 0.22
SPX 3239.75 NASDAQ 10897.0 DOW 26726.0 OIL 42.32
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2020.09.24 19:29 IndieheadsAOTY Album of the Year 2014 #24: Perfect Pussy - Say Yes To Love

Album of the Year 2014 #24: Perfect Pussy - Say Yes To Love
Hello everyone and welcome back to Album of the Year 2014, the daily write-up series where the users of indieheads write about their favorite albums of 2014! Up today, we're going slightly off schedule once again as ProbablyUmmSure talk's Perfect Pussy's one and only album, Say Yes To Love.
March 18th, 2014 - Captured Tracks
Listen:
Spotify
Apple Music
Bandcamp
Background
Perfect Pussy was formed in Syracuse, New York in 2012. The band consisted of Meredith Graves (vocals), Ray McAndrew (guitar), Greg Ambler (bass), Shaun Sutkus (synth) and Garrett Koloski (drummer). After Graves’ former band Shoppers disbanded, she was asked to write music for the Scott Coffey film Adult World. She enlisted Ambler and Koloski and together they formed a fake band for the movie and wrote a song. Eventually McAndrews and Sutkus would join and the band would release their debut EP I Have Lost All Desire for Feeling in April, 2013.
The band would tour through the remainder of 2013, culminating in the release of the band’s first and only album Say Yes To Love on Captured Tracks on March 24th, 2014. The album was received well and a limited edition of the vinyl was pressed with Grave’s menstrual blood inside. Through 2014 and 2015 the band developed a reputation for their live shows and Ali Donohue would join the band. The band’s final release was a split 7” with Joanna Gruesome in December of 2014. The band officially disbanded in 2016.
Review by ProbablyUmmSure
When I think back to the beginning of 2014, I think about the last rough winter (relative to a Southerner) I have experienced. The first week of January I spent days marooned in San Diego, unable to catch a flight back to Atlanta, Georgia due to a winter storm. Later that month on January 28th, 2 inches of snow and ice during the middle of a workday led to what many locals in Atlanta refer to as Snowmaggedon or Snowpocalypse. People’s cars were trapped on iced over interstates and highways and many abandoned their vehicles and took to the streets to find their way home. Any person that regularly deals with the cold will find this whole situation laughable, but in Atlanta this event is still talked about every year. That period led me to spend more time indoors which now seems quaint compared to the insular life everyone has been forced to live through during the last six months. So many nights during the winter of 2014 I would find myself working on my computer listening to music. And on one such night that February, NPR’s All Songs Considered podcast released their weekly show. It featured a mix that included the music of Hundred Waters and a song from the solo debut of Hamilton Leithauser.
As you can imagine, I found this to be perfect background noise. Then, a new band was introduced. “Perfect what?” “I couldn’t have just heard this on NPR.” Before I could process the insane band name, the song “Interference Fits” started to play. On that day, a Subaru Forester must have swerved in traffic while a driver desperately tried to cut this off. Already memory holed for most and no doubt penciled in on someone’s ill fated “American Landfill Indie Albums?” Google Doc, Say Yes To Love rarely comes up in conversations in 2020. But to cast this album off is a disservice to one of the truly brilliant records to be released last decade. As the sound of mid-2010’s indie music began to veer into hazy, bedroom pop territory it was refreshing to hear a raw female-fronted punk album breakthrough and have some mainstream exposure (Wild Lung’s fantastic album Deep Fantasy also had a similar impact in 2014). At the time a huge complaint was lobbed at the vocals which are intentionally lost in the mix and hardly understandable for most of the record. I don’t fault the album for this and almost choose to listen to this album like an ambient album. But unlike an ambient album where the sound washes over you like a warm wave, this album pelts you like a hail storm. I love bands that don’t fit into nice boxes and I think Perfect Pussy falls in that category. Too noisy to be embraced by the punk rock scene and too melodic and punk rock to fit in the noise scene.
What is immediately noticeable is that this record demands your attention. In a Pitchfork profile from 2013, Graves states about the band’s name:
“Really, it's just a nice thing to say to yourself. If you are born with those parts, you're born into a certain set of circumstances; I just turned 26, and I feel extremely old, and I spend a lot of my life looking at myself and my behavior and my body super critically. I think a lot of women have similar experiences, so after all this time I've spent being harsh on myself, it's validating to finally be ready to turn a corner and say, "I'm perfect and I'm not going to go on thinking that I'm supposed to dislike myself." It doesn't mean I'm absolving myself of critique, it just means I'm not going to waste another fucking 10 minutes of my life not liking my body. It's me being fucking stubborn.”
Not wanting to waste time is perfectly exemplified in the opening cut “Driver”. Tape hiss gives way to a Japandroids-esque guitar line before bombarding you with Graves’ vocals that hit with megaphone-to-the-face intensity. In the opening 30 seconds of this album, you already know if you are in or out. If you have ever white knuckled a drive home in icy conditions then you get the sonic experience in “Drivers” (a worthy spiritual successor to Sleater-Kinney’s song “Dig Me Out” in that sense). And making silly comparisons like that are really the best I can do to describe this music because it really must be experienced. You can only read so many words about a roller coasters before you just need to make your way to the theme park and get on it.
And much like a rollercoaster, this album reveals something new on each ride. That intensity on “Drivers” is consistent throughout the album, but what is less evident are the really strong lyrics throughout. I have no doubt that if Perfect Pussy was a more traditional indie rock band, people would praise the lyricism across the album. On “Dig” Graves sings:
You’ve realized that I’ll let you hurt me And now you want to do it all the time No bruise is permanent, neither am I But you’re welcome to try and try
You could listen to the album 10 times and maybe never truly hear the verse, but it's dark, deep and sung with such urgency that the words demand to be heard. The album wrestles with these themes of love and violence and these are things the listener needs to hear, but can’t? The words are screaming out, but they are unintelligible, distorted, and only come to us fragments behind the constant crashing of Koloski’s cymbals. The vulnerability is cloaked behind a wall of sound.
When the band wants you to hear the lyrics they oblige. The album is centered around the particularly dense single “Interference Fits” which is the bands most accessible and, I’ll say, beautiful song. The band wisely puts Graves’ vocals out front on this song and lets the story play out.
I never wanted any children Just a nice apartment with open air And big windows and all the flowers And I could only ever see myself there
You fall in love with someone and suddenly everything changes and before long you are getting married and it is this whole sacred ordeal. You blink and find yourself questioning “What am I doing with somebody’s son?”. We said “yes to love” but at what cost? Just an incredible bit of songwriting and meditation in the least meditative album possible. A dark thought that many think, but rarely say out loud.
Despite the great lyrics throughout, the noise will always be the focal point of this album. The band often would record clean takes of songs followed by Graves and Sutkus who would “make noise on purpose”. The constant barrage of feedback, synth, guitar, bass, drum, and tape hiss ensures that there is not a moment of silence during the run time of the album. The feedback in particular is utilized the best. In “Big Star” when Graves takes a breath, the space is filled by feedback. When the instruments drop out, static and synths whirl around the empty space. These lofi elements found throughout the album coincide nicely with the cassette revival that was beginning to bubble up at the same time. Lofi, noise, and New Age releases were all coming from independent tape labels and the sounds Perfect Pussy excelled in were seeing renewed interest across the internet (the band released their own live cassette aptly named Say Yes To Live). Never associated or championed by those online communities, Perfect Pussy was on the forefront of these expanding scenes.
The album ends on the incredible one-two-punch of “Advance Upon the Real” and “VII." "Advance Upon the Real" might be the most in your face song on the whole album. Just another assault of senses right at the top, but what I love about this song is that it ends with around 3 minute of tape hiss, static and small synth bloops. The first time in almost 20 minutes that you can catch your breath. A moment of zen after the adrenaline rush and a way to center you. You could easily skip over the end, but you need it. The sound has gone from abrasive to comforting and you are ready to return back to the world. But just before you do, “VII” begins seamlessly and suddenly the noise returns. The most abstract piece on the album, the textures on this track are rough and ominous with repeated, barely distinguishable vocals. Just as loud as every other track on the album, however the sound has now been re-contextualized and now feels almost like a hug. It ends with a final fade out of static and the album is over. Now the silence around you is just as jarring as the noise. One final trick the band has pulled on the listener.
I would be remitted to not spend some time discussing the post-Perfect Pussy career of frontwoman Meredith Graves. Almost as fascinating as the album is the trajectory of her career which easily rivals any front person last decade. Graves has been involved in a number of major moments in the digital media/journalism landscape since the band disbanded. Upon ending touring with the band, Graves formed the record label, Honor Press and wrote for multiple publications including Pitchfork, The Guardian, and The Village Voice (where she was a columnist). In the wake of Grantland (a pop culture website started by Bill Simmons and owned by ESPN) shutting down in late 2015, former editorial director Dan Fierman took a position with MTV News to transform the website and focus on longform music pieces in early 2016. Graves would end up becoming a video anchor for the platform. This new version of MTV News (which put out great content and did have slight moment in the music criticism world) would shutter in 2017 based on the “pivot to video” practice that took place in the late 2010s (necessitated by what has now been found to be inflated view numbers stemming from Facebook). And now Graves now holds a position as the Music Director of Kickstarter. Just an incredible 6 year span that no doubt would yield some incredible music if Graves ever wishes to test the water.
I selfishly want another project knowing that a follow up is highly unlikely. I never had the chance to see the band live, but can only imagine what an experience it would’ve been. I really just want to see the whole package come together in front of my eyes to believe that it's possible to recreate this album on stage. Surrounded by other people adding to the collage of sound on stage. Reflecting back on this album makes me desperately miss live shows. Say Yes To Love was not meant to be experienced in a quarantined apartment or home. It is a little ominous to stare at the album cover during a global pandemic in my home. The album cover is stark white with an ominous mirrored double P emblem that looks suspiciously similar to the Warner Bros. Studio logo. It’s one of the more imposing covers of the last decade and emanates a feeling of frigidness. That logo is surrounded by white almost like it's stuck in a blizzard. You begin to sympathize with that logo after being surrounded by noise for the length of the album. It's not hard to see why I associate this album with the winter. Like every year, as temperatures begin to drop, I will return to this album. I will let this be the soundtrack to any future icy drives I may encounter. However, in a time when everyone is staying home, I will most likely just enjoy this album while working on my computer just as I did in 2014 (only now with the constant fear of being fired for the search history required to write this piece).
Favorite Lyrics
Death comes last to the party Meanwhile I’m biding my time So you can’t take your own life That’s cutting in line
  • "Drivers"
You’ve realized that I’ll let you hurt me And now you want to do it all the time No bruise is permanent, neither am I But you’re welcome to try and try
  • "Dig"
Yeah, I guess I was too hard for my own good And then my friends began to fall in love First with themselves and then with each other
  • "Interference Fits"
I have limitations when it comes to my desiring And complicated feelings on desire and my desiring
Too interesting to love But you’re cool, so you’ll try
  • "Advance Upon The Real"
Talking Points
  • What do you think the legacy of this band will be?
  • How does this album rank against the other one and done releases of the last decade? Would you want a follow up?
  • Did you ever see this band live? What was your experience?
  • What are your opinions on the lineage of Riot Grrrl in the 2010s?
  • And where does this album rank on your 2014 list?
Thank you to ProbablyUmmSure for their stellar line-up! Now, two quick bits of news for the rest of the series. Unfortunately, roseisonlineagain ended up having to cancel her write-up for St. Vincent's self-titled so that leaves an empty slot for the series we're still looking to fill. But hopefully tomorrow, we'll have lazydaylullaby's write-up for the Voidz 2014 album, Tyranny so come back for that! In the meantime, discuss today's album in the comments below.
submitted by IndieheadsAOTY to indieheads [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 18:38 Sales_EM What are the Steps to Engaging with Every Lead? A CRM is the Best Way to Go.

Before people start any kind of purchase, approximately 98% do research on the internet. So with that said, if you are not on the internet via website, social platforms or email blasting - you are most definitely missing the boat.
For example, according to NAR 48% of agents do not respond to their internet leads. Why in the world would you spend money on leads from Zillow, FaceBook ads or any other service and not respond or taking days to respond back. The fact is, the consumer is most likely to work exclusively with the agent who responds first. Don’t you want to be that person? Remember, it can not be just a one-time response. You have to stay in front of them long term.
The thing that frightens me is that there are people out there spending a lot of money getting their leads and then working those leads off an Excel spreadsheet. Whether you are spending $500 or $5k on lead generation you must have a follow up system in place. Just imagine how much more you could do if you were set up for business correctly?
The first thing to think about is when is a lead really dried up for you? The only time a lead is dried up is when they flat out tell you they don’t want to talk to you anymore and/or their contact information has gone bad. That’s it. Even if they have an agent or other sales person, the lead is not dried up.
You may close on 1% of your leads a month but your goal is for 3%. It’s great to have that goal, but really what is most important is that you are filling up a pipeline of leads/contacts daily. We know that buyers and even sellers for that matter do not buy or sell from us tomorrow. 80% of any sales are made on the 5th to 12th contact.
So what things can you do to stay in front of them long term and engage them with all those things that will instill trust for the conversion in the future?
Ideally, if you have a drip campaign ready to go on automatically, they contact will receive information the very moment they sign up or log into your designated landing page. Depending on your campaign set up this can happen via text, email and/or PM/DM (via Facebook, Twitter or Instagram).
What are the steps you should be taking for every single lead?
Step #1
Phone call and/or text.
“How can I help you at this time with your research?”
When a lead comes in...pick up the phone and call immediately. If they send in their contact information, including their phone number, it means they are ready right at that moment to receive information. But, it’s not just a phone call, depending on the contact it could be a text. If you have a template prepared for this you can send a text immediately.
Step #2
New lead email.
Thanking them and providing a listing or ad that offers info on your services. Just make sure you are sending them information that they are actually asking for.
Step #3
Listings, product updates or specials should be sent regularly and automatically.
Real-time and daily if possible for buyers and at least weekly for sellers. Set up pre-set saved searches.
Step #4
Engaging drip campaign using CRM/Messenger Software.
At least a year of engaging content via email and texts that are automated. This would include personal touch messages like holiday greetings, birthdays and anniversaries (if you have that information in your contact info).
Step #5
Respond quickly and follow-up.
Fast and personalized via phone call, text, video message, email and messenger.
The bottom line is get out there and engage long term. Your business will be better for it because the money really is in the follow-up!
If you are looking for proven and engaging drip campaigns for real estate check us out here.
As always...we appreciate follows, comments and questions. You can find us u/EngageMoreCRM on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.
submitted by Sales_EM to RealEstateTechnology [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 13:20 kuteguy we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Reached the end of the rabbit hole

As I had promised in my other thread that I would report back after my San Pedro journey, I am going to write a short report. I have taken MDMA under supervision and solo (125+70) 5 times since 9 months ago.
Each time I have had amazing revelations and like a big puzzle things are coming together. However, MDMA only lasts about 1.5-2 hrs in me (it has been lab tested as PURE MDMA - probably 85%). Taking more hasn't really meant I get a longer or better journey ( I tried 125+65+65 once). I don't ever get a hangover afterwards, with one exception.
So I decided to look into San Pedro which is what MDMA is based on and it is meant to last 10-14 hrs. Mine lasted ~6 hours. I went to a retreat in Western Europe (I used retreat.guru) to find a place. San Pedro is legal in MANY countries and it is easy to find retreats on facebook, etc. all over the world.
It ended up being a men's retreat and so many odd/unplanned things happened but it was definitely part of a bigger plan by the universe for me.
I won't go into a lot of details but basically I found out I was addicted to something since my mid-late teens. Something that is part of normal every day life (like food, power, sex, 'need to be the best', 'need to be right', work, money etc, etc). And literally every action I was doing (travel, making and spending time with friends, becoming successful, clubbing, hobbies, music, etc) - the underlying deep subconscious program was 'how can this get me closer to getting my drug hit'. This meant that I lost being in the moment and loving and enjoying the moment/people.
It also meant that when I stepped up to people I felt less adequate than them because I felt I needed them to get my drug hit. So for example if it is sex addiction then I might assess everything as what is the sex value of this? what is the sex value of me? My other attributes have no purpose - my intelligence, my experience, my compassion - all useless. All that matters is my body! And ofcourse then anything that reduces my sex value needs to be eliminated/changed. So effectively I reject my body.. or spend hours/$$$ on improving it so it has the highest sex value. And if I reject my body then every time I step up to another person (in whom I am sexually interested or not), I automatically feel less than them. The worse I feel about my body (and hence my sex value) the deeper I go down that way of thinking whereby I make myself thinking I have the least sex value in the world. If I meet a great person and we are intimate.. well need to go find someone with greater sex value to get a better hit next time. Everyone is an object. I am an object - because I was treated as an object by my parents (see below about lack of tenderness/warmth/acceptance in my upbringing).
I was lucky on the retreat they offered Ayahuasca for the first two days, then mushrooms, and two days of San Pedro. I took VERY small amounts of each because I believe in a gentle approach to self-discovery and not wanting to BLAST my ego to get to some answers (I see too many people being harsh to themselves and pushing too hard to get answers - only creates resistance). This is how nature works - slow and gentle, not instant gratification.
The medicine requires ppl to abstain from drugs/sex/rich foods for two weeks before taking the medicine. And drug addicts often will purge as they remove the remnants of the drug from the body - giving them the best chance to not turn to drugs after the medicine. Eventhough my addiction is not a hard drug, the first three 'ceremonies' there was a lot of tension in one area of my body and that was the medicine removing the chemicals from my body that are a result of my addiction - these are chemicals that my body produces but I had over indulged in them - or rather I had indulged in them as a numbing agent, rather than a pleasure agent. Unbelievable the intelligence and effectiveness of the medicine!
I had an existential crisis of some sorts many times because each time you go deeper into your sub-conscious there are traps and bombs placed to stop you going there. And you have to deal with the fear you are faced with because infact each day you are lving through that fear - you are just not conscious of it. And then when you reach your soul you are in a place of pure joy and ecstasy. Then as the medicine wears off and you have these amazing insights you start to fear death again because your ego comes back online and you question what is the purpose of life if for so long you have been chasing a drug hit .. then what is the point of existing?? OFcourse the answer is that you are a pure bundle of joy and you have to learn to live again, to be innocently joyous again. If your level of joy is currently 0 and chasing the hit made you feel you could get to a 10 when you attained your hit/goal .. then learning that you are addicted leaves you at a 0 with nowhere to go!!
Trick is to learn to get from a 0, to 1 to 2, etc . slowly and naturally! When you are in true joy/happiness/ecstasy (Without any drug or medicine) then you will realise you can just be. You don't have to try and get from a level 5 to level 6 of happiness. Happiness is happiness .. there aren't any levels .. that's how you know you are truly happy.
Anyway, so I tried to see what made me happy or if I had been happy before I started my journey of addiction. I went all the way back to my birth and ofcourse there wasn't happiness. When a child is born from the infinite (soul plane) to the finite (earth) - it is very scared and afraid. It depends on its mother to give it comfort and meet its emotional needs. This pacifies the baby and makes the baby feel comfortable and secure in its own skin. I guess this did not happen to me properly. I was made to WIN, SUCCEED, POWER through life. That tenderness/love/attention/warmth was not shown to me enough. To the point that showing TLC or being TLC is seen as a sign of weakness and old age. I can now change this behavior. I am now outside my addiction .. finally! Something that MDMA was not able to show me, yet. But San Pedro did show me. I audio recorded as much of my insight as I could because there will be days (there have been already) when I will want to return to my addiction because, unlike heroin/cocaine, my addiction is actually a part of normal everyday life and I would say 90%+ ppl suffer from it but don't realise it. Even my councillotherapist never picked it up! But she can completely see it when I explained to her - and I don't even have the language to explain everything I felt/saw/experienced while under Aya/San Pedro. You get infinite amount of information and emotions every moment under the medicine.
re: my parents .. I have two options. 1) be angry with them for what they did to me 2) accept that it is done and give them the warmth/compassion/acceptance they never gave to me - it is not easy because they haven't changed much in their old age, they can't because they dont know how to or any other way. Say I am 40. Then I can't turn back time and have 40 years of 'happy family' with them - that just isn't going to happen. What can happen is that I can have TODAY 1 day of happiness with them, 2 days of happiness .. and so on till the day we all die. That is the best I can do under the circumstances :-)
Even if I could brute force and make them understand what they have done to be that would lead them to go into a deep state of depression to understand what they have done to their flesh and blood. I have a new sense of compassion, understanding and empathy and who better to extend that to than my parents.
Truly blessed to have crossed paths with the medicine and I will continue to be an advocate for it and getting the message out there. My search has come to an end. Now it is about being aware of how the addiction manifests itself and living life.
submitted by kuteguy to mdmatherapy [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 12:05 LittleYellowConure Should I tell him that I have started to like him? He lives too far away from me.

I (22F) have a friend (22M) I've met on facebook. We were both members of a certain facebook group, he added me first, and initiated the convo, saying he enjoyed my memes. The rest of the convo (removed many parts):
-We both love birds. And we talk about birb memes. He send me a birb picture and says: "found this birb and thought of you."
- He asks me what major I'm studying and tells me "you could have many jobs here", provides information about job opportunities of (my major in university) in his country (There was a post of mine in that group that I was searching for jobs for people with (my major in university) degrees in Western countries)
- He says "I think you are cute and you should post more selfies" I tell him that he looks like a very smart guy and I have an insta (I also told him: " You are cute too If that's you on your profile," I am aware of what I told him was stupid) He wants my insta ID and gives his.
- I write on his timeline to celebrate his b-day and he thanks me for it in DMs.
I thought he was polite, cute and smart from the beginning, but he is occupying my mind for, like, the past week. I don't know why I started feel something for him out of the blue while our last convo is 12 months ago.
I have dropped my previous college and applied another one, accepted. I am studying the same major as him. Maybe I can re-start the convo with asking him advice.
One more thing I realized that it was him saying "hi" first or initiated the conversation 90% of the time.
I don't know if he has a gf or not.
I had long distance online relationships with foreign guys before, experienced many problems, and ended them. Ending them was painful even though I have never met them face to face. I live too far away from him, and I don't think we could meet during the pandemic, which is said to be likely to last for 2 years. In addition to this, we come from very different cultures. He is from a super liberal Western country and I am from a country which has strong Middle Eastern influence.
Should I tell him that I like him? Or not being in a relationship at all is better than having a painful breakup due to long distance and cultural differences?
submitted by LittleYellowConure to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 10:42 Sconceglobal Exhibition is a great platform to promote your product or brand

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submitted by Sconceglobal to u/Sconceglobal [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 07:30 ThrowRA-after-use GF (32f) and I (33m) struggling to make it work

Alright reddit. looking for some serious advice, as I feel like I’m drowning and can’t keep my head above water. sorry for the long post, but this one has layers, like an onion. Forgive formatting or mistakes. I haven't slept in a few days now.
I (33M) don’t know how to proceed with my gf (32f) of 1.5 yrs.
A bit of background information about me. I do not have a very strong relationship with my parents, and my siblings and I are not particularly close. I had a very abusive childhood growing up, with a lot of physical and mental abuse. I moved out of my parents at 13 and have can count the visits since then on one hand. I am close with one of my aunt and uncles than I am to anyone else in my immediate family. I have been in one relationship prior for 8 years. She cheated on my 3 time in our first 6 months, broke up with me shortly after our 2 year to sleep with a co-worker, and I took her back three months later, where we spent another 5 yrs. together. it ended when she cheated on me, tried to spin it as my fault, and told me to get out of her life. I ended up with nothing (lost my house and jeep to her), was basically homeless for 3 months in the middle of winter. After a few years in a really dark place, I finished school and started my life over again, basically by moving across the country. And while I can confidently say I am over her; she still haunts my dreams sometimes. I had been single from 2012 until beginning of 2019. And by single, I mean no relationship of any kind, serious, casual, or one off. I was very alone and had tarted to really think I was never going to find anyone.
Background for her: She has been in and out of relationships from mid to late teens, and has had multiple abusive relationships, where she has told me stories of being locked in bathrooms, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, mentally abused, you know, the good old classic crap. Her last real relationship was about 2/3 yrs. long from 2015-2017, and that ended when her partner at the time basically caused both to lose the house they bought together, and both declared bankruptcy. She was in a bad accident in late 2017, which left her with some physical impairments, but also with some cognitive issues. small things like memory issues, and cognitive troubles with complex concepts. She dated a few guys between beginning of 2018 and beginning of 2019, and again, had a few bad experiences (guys cheating on their gf, stalkers, physically abusive, etc.). She also says that she has ocd, and can be very particular about a variety of things, and sometimes gets et off by the smallest of things (for example, if I put a cup in the wrong cupboard, she becomes very upset)
Ok, now the topic at hand.
I moved to my current city in the later half of 2017 to pursue a job opportunity that was too good to turn down. I really liked my job, was for the first time in my life self sufficient and paying down debts, paying rent, buying groceries, and still had money put away/saved. But I was very lonely and experiencing some existential issues about being over that fabled age of 30.
I had some friends and coworkers tell me that I should try online dating, and after some convincing, and threats by coworkers that either I make a profile or they would do it for me, (I guess I’m still a bit old school, as I had always tried to meet females irl, as opposed to online). I downloaded bumble and made a profile. nothing really happened beyond a few girls who struck up some conversations, and exactly 2 coffee dates that were excruciatingly painful to experience, and the most awkward movie date in the history of mankind. And that’s when I matched up with my GF, in the later half of 2018. We chatted back and forth, and it went from chatting on bumble to exchanging numbers, and texting back and forth. It was the first time in years I had connected with someone that was very much showing an interest in me.
Now, we made plans to meet up on the weekend or coffee but didn’t set a time or place. And I was excited for this, as she also expressed, she was too. 2 days before we were supposed to meet up, I lost my phone and all my contacts, and as I don’t have social media, was unable to contact her. I was gutted. We didn’t meet up. I spent the next 6 months half heartedly using bumble, mostly focusing on my job, and I had started a part time program at university. I don’t know what I expected, and I just chalked this up to my seemingly never-ending bad luck. I thought about her every so often, and lamented the fact that we hadn’t met up, cuz I felt we had really connected.
Fast forward to Feb 2018, and I had recently created a new bumble on my work phone. I’m swiping through profiles, and I see hers. So, I swipe right, and she swipes right. But as the trick with bumble is, I have to wait for her to initiate conversation. Which of course, she doesn’t. I was a bit sad, but hey, that’s what happened. I see her a second time, and of course, I swipe right. She lets the timer expire. I see her a third time, swipe right, but this time, I pay to extend the timer to a second day. And she initiates conversation with "I guess I should talk to you since we keep matching". I immediately tell her the circumstances of what happened to my phone, apologised profusely, and told her that I understand why she may not want to talk to me, but at least I got to tell her what happened as opposed to her thinking I’m just an asshole. She doesn’t really say anything for a bit, and then tells me she vaguely remembers me, and that she wasn’t sure how much she had told me about her accident, but she had been excited to meet me, but couldn’t remember why. I told her I remembered about her accident, and I was more than happy to start over, and then I reintroduced myself. We started chatting again. And this time, I made damn sure to set a time, and place. We met up Easter weekend, 2018, for what was supposed to be coffee and a half hour walk, which turned into us walking for two, and then standing by our vehicles talking for another hour and a bit. I liked this girl. I wasn’t put off by any of the physical ramifications of her accident (very predominant facial scarring), and despite the very slight but sometimes obvious cognitive impairments, I really liked this girl, and none of that mattered. I went to Easter dinner on cloud 9. I was planning on waiting until the next day to mssg her, but she texted me saying she had a lot of fun. I texted her back after dinner saying I had as well, and that I was looking forward to hanging out again.
We texted a bit back and forth as per usual, but then she sent me a string of texts that took me a bit by surprise. The told me that she thought I was a great guy, but that she wanted to start a family, and she felt she couldn’t didn’t want to waste the next few years dating as she felt her age was creeping up on her, and that while she was sure I would be a great parent, she was going to go forward with a plan she had to get pregnant: sperm donor.
I was a bit taken aback, and shocked, but I told her that while I was sad about the prospect of us not seeing where we could go, that I understood her pov, and while I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her if she was going to use a sperm donor, I did wish her all the best, as I liked her too much want to be "just friends". She seemed a bit taken aback by my response, especially with how positive I was in the "if that’s what you want, I hope you all the best" tone and language I used.
I carried on with my life, expecting to never hear from her again.
In May 2018, she sent me a text saying she had just ordered pizza, and was watching a movie, and that the pizza had reminded her of me as we had had several lively debates on the best pizza toppings, place to order, and type of pizza. I texted her back and asked what type of pizza and where she had ordered from, and we texted a bit back and forth, and she asked me if I wanted to come over, eat some of her pizza, and "hang out". I told her that I still respected her wish of a sperm donor, and I didn’t think it was a good idea to start something when she had her plan and I didn’t want just a one night. We chatted some more over the next day and a bit, and I ended up at her house that Friday to watch a movie and eat pizza. We ended neither eating pizza nor watching a movie, but sitting on her house steps talking, eventually going inside and continuing the conversation. It was getting late and I was getting ready to leave when we started fooling around and ended up in her room.
I ended up spending two days at her place, and then we basically hung out 1-2 times during the week, and then most Friday to Saturday for the next 4 months. There were a few hiccups, and some serious conversations, focused on what was it we were looking for (we settled on that while we were not dating, we were casually monogamous), and an instance where she became upset and thought I was ghosting her when I had spent an entire day studying for school and then writing an exam with my phone off. That situation started with her telling me to come get the few things I had left at her place, and ending with me explaining to her what had happened, and that if she really wanted me to come get my shirt and two bottles of alcohol, I would. There were also some really great high, like where we spent 4 hours fixing my truck, and she made the comment "we did this without fighting, that means we are a good team", me wishing her a good weekend as she went off with friends to go camping (which she got weird about, because I didn’t have an issue with her doing things with her friends, as her exes always had issues) an extremely fun camping/hiking trip, and when she discovered a kitten stuck 10 feet high in a tree, and insisted that we had to go back and recue him. Incidentally, this kitten rescue was that moment watching her scale a tree, where I fell in love with her. She had such big heart and was kind a caring. I felt physical pain when she told me some of the horror stories, and for the first time in 7 years, there was a human I really really reeeeaaalllyyy wanted to spend all my time with this ridiculously goofy red head.
August rolls around, and she asks if it was ok if she went to go visit some family about a day drive away. I told her yes, go for it, send me picture. And she seemed weird about it. I tried to do a bit of tactful digging, and I found out that the last time she had gone to visit, she took an ex, who had physically assaulted her when they had gone together to visit. She hinted at wanting me to come with her, but I told her that she should get some time to herself, visit family, and I wasn’t going anywhere and would be waiting at home for her. I got the feeling she didn’t know how to handle this response, but I assured her, to go have a good visit.
Before she left, she spent the night with me, and there was some debate about whether she was in danger of getting pregnant from our night. She went on er trip, got her period, I wasn’t worried, and was very much looking forward to her return. She was gone for 11 days, and in that time, I had managed to score her some tickets to her favorite sports team for when she got home.
She got home and I went to go pick her up, and she had been day drinking, which wasn’t a big deal as I knew she had been. It was quite comical, and she seemed to be very happy to see me. I was very happy to see her as well. We went back to my place, and I gave her the tickets, which shocked her, and we spent the night together. In the morning we were still in the mood, so we went at it again. It ended with me having to fish a broken condom from inside her and taking a trip to get a morning after pill. She took the pill in front of me, and things were fine.
Things were good and we were falling back into our routine of seeing each other 1-2 times a week and spending weekends together. Then several things happened all at once in the middle of September.
1 - I had a family member fall deathly ill
2 - I had my manager at my job start to openly target me at work
3 - she was late.
I found out very end of September, she was pregnant, which as she so eloquently put it one morning "I’m pregnant, sorry for ruining your life".
At this time, I had also started working for a branch of the government that required weekend schooling for 3 months. things were busy but ok, and we had the typical should we keep it or not conversation, and what does this mean for us. Ultimately, she shut down any other conversation and would not discuss any other option outside of keeping it. I was not in the mind set to have a kid at this point in my life, and I tried to express this as appropriately and like an adult. It was through these conversations I found out that she had had an abortion previously and had had an ex of hers force a miscarriage, which she did not elaborate upon. At the end of all the conversations, she decided for both of us that we were keeping the baby, despite my concerns on my shaky job status, my part time gov training, my sick (and possibly dying) family member, her low paying job, and our unstable financial forecast (she was still dealing with her bankruptcy, and I was trying to pay down debt). Despite my objection to this, I told her I was there for her and the baby, and if this is what was happening, then I would be there.
By middle of October, I was unceremoniously fired without reason, and my family member had taken a turn for the worse, and I had to fly back home on a this could be it type visit. Going back home saw me must drop out of my weekend training, as I would no longer be able to make the time commitment. I was back home for about 14 days at the beginning of Nov. While I was gone, I tried to keep in constant communication with my GF and let her know everything that was going on. I was under a lot of stress and pressure, and I am sure this showed. As per usual, the visit back home did not go well due to family dynamics, and that added to the mix. I was back home for 3 and a bit week, before I once again flew back home fully expecting to be attending a funeral. The three weeks I was back with my gf were super stressed. I was incredibly torn about losing my job, and in typical fashion for my life, was getting fucked on my EI claims b/c I had taken a severance package. The three weeks were tension filled, and my gf was super argumentative. I chalked this up to pregnancy hormones, tried to be as understanding as possible. I was back home until end of dec, where I flew home because my gf was upset that I would potentially miss Christmas. The entire time that I was visiting family, she was insistent that I was cheating on her, and had convinced herself that I was. I kept reassuring her I would not do that and that I wasn’t. She barely believed me. The day that I got back my gf picked me up at the airport, but she was super reluctant to pick me up, and was super upset that I was "making" her come pick me up. My alternatives were to cab (super expensive for someone with no job) or take public transportation (which would mean 2+ hours to get home), and she wanted me to spend the night with her either way. We got home, and she had been super cold and distant, and super withdrawn on the ride. I again chalked this up to pregnancy hormones and being grumpy. We spent the night together. The next day I woke up feeling under the weather, and within the next few days, I became extremely sick. I figured that my daily hospital visits of 10+ hours a provided the perfect storm for me to pick up something. I was sick until about the 28th of December, bedridden, with a chest cold that was the worse I had ever experience. I spent the entire time at my gfs place, missing her family Christmas day/dinner. My gf picked up whatever I was sick with and ended up also getting sick. And we were sick right up until new years.
New years eve, she was very argumentative, and I suggested maybe we needed to get a night away from each other, and that I would come back on new years day. She became upset, and proceeded to have an emotional blowout, that included her accusing me of cheating on her when I went back home, being a pathological liar, being secretive because I have a passcode on my cell, as well as accusing me of purposefully getting her sick by staying over so much. I tried to talk to her rationally, but every time I would try to talk to her about what she was saying, she would say I was just trying to confuse her, and that I was lying, and that she was unhappy with me. Through out the conversation, it became clear that she was resentful of my rationale for not having a child, and she said that she did not want me around or that she was not happy. I tried to talk to her, to find out what I could do to help, but she was upset, hostile, and swinging to an extreme level of anger and frustration. I told her I would come back in a day or so and she would not have any of it. I ended up staying but slept alone on the couch. I was very upset about this, because that was not how I wanted to spend my new years, and her extreme swing into scorched earth anger was of grave concern to me.
The next few days were extremely tense. I was wondering what was going on, as my gf had basically gone to the extreme of, I want you out of my life. She had said a lot of things in anger, and did not want to discuss it, as "you’re just trying to make me the bad guy and use your big words to confuse me". I tried my best to be understanding, level-headed, and particularly avoided being argumentative, but I would also calmly explain my pov, feelings, or try to explain and reason with her.
Things for me were looking grim, as by this point, I had finally gotten EI, at about 35% of my (modest) salary from my previous employer and had been applying to 2-3 jobs min a day trying to land anything. I had started walking my GFs dog daily to try and help and was trying to help in other areas as I was able to. However, I was constantly accused of "sleeping all day, not trying to get a job, wanting a salary that was too high, eating all the food in the house". Fairly frequently I was cooking dinner and trying to make my rapidly getting more pregnant gf as comfortable as she could get. She was also hit with very bad fatigue but would refuse to nap or rest because that "is just a waste of the day". From Jan to April, the accusations became more wild, and would range on any day from I was cheating on her in her bed, to I was lying about working out, or my job applications. Blow outs over miniscule things became almost daily, and she would constantly be emotionally unstable. When I would try to ask her what was wrong, she would get further upset and tell me that she shouldn’t have to tell me. Anything and everything would set her off, from me doing the laundry at the wrong time, putting dishes in the cupboard wrong, to having my shoes crooked on the mat. There were certain things she kept bringing up, even after I had apologised for them. An example of this was I jokingly said that I would have to return the baby if it was not the gender I wanted. I was clearly joking, and told her I was, and apologised for it. But was constantly having this brought up in her blow outs. There were several things that would constantly be brought up, and if I would try to explain or reason with her, her default became "that’s your opinion, you’re just trying to make me into the bad guy".
With the high level of tension, what was a sex 2-3 times a week dynamic turned into long stretches of no sex, as well as no physical contact since my return from visiting my family end of December. In total 9 months of pregnancy, we had sex 6 times, with going as long as 60+ days between sex. I made a point of not pushing or pressuring her into any sort of physicality. The few times we did have sex, it was always on her initiation (s the case was if I initiated she would get angry), and it was typically her walking up and indicating she wanted sex, and would become upset if it lasted longer than 5 minutes a she didn’t "want to have sex for a long time".
On her behest, and b/c despite her mood swings I was still spending most of the time at her place, I moved out of my apartment and into her place in March of 2020. We split the rent and bills 50-50. Mot of my stuff is boxed away and being stored in the basement, but despite splitting bills, having my stuff in common areas caused her to have blowouts as I was being "messy and making clutter on purpose". To stop arguments, everything, including my musical instruments which I would try to play daily, have all been packed away and are in the basement.
After I moved in, things were a bit calmer, but not by much. At this point, covid was also starting to really affect a lot of things. My gf made the comment one night that we should go get couples therapy, and I said I agreed. But b/c of covid, we would have to wait. Most of April was pretty much like the rest of her pregnancy. Constant anger over little things (like if she dropped a spoon, she would have a full on freak out over it, she was constantly road raging for peoples driving, most often times not warranted, etc.), with a lot of the discussions we had swinging to extremes on her part. Typically, something as innocuous as me misplacing kitchen items would escalate to her screaming how unhappy she was and how she was over this relation ship. The few days that her anger was kept in check were extremely enjoyable, and we did manage to decorate the baby’s room, and build crib and furniture.
Our baby was born in May. And it has been a rough 4 months. She has had several intense blowouts, including one 2 weeks after birth where she was screaming at me to take the baby and get out of her life. Since then there has been 3 or 4 blowouts, typically with her losing her shit over something super small and going from being upset about miniscule issues to her throwing the entire relationship into the I’m done, and I don’t want this anymore. However, every time it gets to this, I calmly ask her, so what do you want to do? And she says she doesn’t know. Accuses me of making her into the bad guy, and never seems to have a solution.
We are still on a waiting list for couples counselling, but covid is causing delays, and she refuses to do zoom or phone calls with the therapist.
There have been some other things that I feel are contributing to the mix.
1 - she has anger issues, and is projecting passed trauma through anger
2 - someone has been harassing her since feb, via text, email and fb. The messages are typically sexually abusive, and/or are always saying I’m cheating on her. we have some theories on who it could be behind this, but nothing we can prove, and as the police have stated, there’s little that can be done. However, she now has accused me of cheating because I made the bed and it had wrinkles on it, there were some condoms in a drawer (which were so old they predated our relationship by 5 years), I have "secret" conversation on my phone, etc. She has even gone so far as to tell me she doesn’t even care anymore if I am cheating, which hurt me immensely, as I am not and haven’t never cheated on her.
3 - she is holding a grudge as she has voiced her opinion that her pregnancy was made "a living hell" by me and that I was purposefully trying to be more of a burden. When I pint out the domestic chores, or the fact I regularly tried to help with her dog, she says I’m "throwing that in her face" and that it doesn’t matter. I have apologised for any burden I may have inadvertently caused, and she says she’s too angry to accept that. When I ask for specific examples of what I did so that I can try to change my behaviors, she says she "can’t think of any examples off the top of my head".
4 - I did try to register for bumble biz during my initial job search, but registration was a bitch and I never completed the process. She saw the notification on my cell and immediately assumed I was cheating, and when I calmly explained what it was, she insinuated that I would make up something like that on purpose.
5 - We haven’t had sex since middle of July, we haven’t cuddled since end of dec 2019 (any time I tried to cuddle her during her pregnancy she would refuse saying I wasn’t allowed to cuddle her), we haven’t kissed since end of dec 2019, she hasn’t given or allowed me to give head since August 2019. During her 9-month pregnancy we had sex a total 6 times. and 3 times since baby was born.
6 - she very harshly talks down to herself and cannot take a compliment. If I tell her she looks pretty she makes a disparaging remark about herself. Something as simple as me saying she has a nice but is met with a slew of self hate about her body.
7 - I picked up a 4-month contract job end of July, and the uncertainty of employment is stressful.
8 - I have been working 9-hour days, and then I have been taking the baby for 2-5 hours dependent on the night. She has an expectancy that I take the baby to "give her a break". My daily routine has been waking up, walking the dog, working, using my lunch break to give her a break from baby, finishing work, and then watching the baby after. This is burning me out. I am also doing gov training once a week and trying to wrap up one of two remaining courses in my school (which would lead to better employability, and better salary). I am always happy to watch my kid, but I feel that the expectancy for me to do so is not taking into consideration everything else that’s going on. She is on mat leave till next may.
So, all that is basically the history leading up to last night.
I got home from a late shift, and I have been feeling super down about a bunch of things. The night before she had insinuated, I was cheating on her because she found a strip of a condom wrapper in our laundry hamper. I tried to calmly explain that the last time we had had sex I had thrown the wrapper on the floor and probably scooped it up with the laundry the next day and it was most likely sitting there for 2 months. She called me a liar, and I even showed her the pack of condoms that had only the one used by us. On top of it all, that specific condom brand is too small for me to use comfortable, so we have avoided using them. She did her typical brush off, and I went to bed angry and sad. So last night just as I was wrapping up my shift, I get a text message asking, "are you even coming home tonight". I respond that I was, and I got home. I asked her if she had a few minutes to talk, as I needed to talk to her about how I felt. She grudgingly turned off the tv and told me to talk as she started to scroll Facebook. I asked her to put her cell down, which she finally did. I then calmly told her how I was burning out, and I felt like I was being held at an arms length, and that I needed to know what was going on with us, and with things. She has recently started talking about buy a house, and with her recent bankruptcy she is not in any real position to buy by herself. Also, her earning potential is capped in her current job but she has no desire or intention to leave. My earning potential hovers around double what she makes. I mentioned that I was having doubts about looking at houses, and that I needed to make time for my school and training, which meant that the next 2 months I wouldn’t be able to take the baby every day after work for multiple hours. Well she got indignant, and she got mad at me, saying I don’t try to do anything to help, and that I made her last year a living hell, and that I’m getting my needs met elsewhere so why do I care at all about our relationship. I tried to calmly talk to her and stressed that this is how I’ve been feeling. As with the last few conversations, she swung to "I’m so sick of this relationship" and told me that she didn’t feel attracted to me. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she didn’t know. She then told me that I can go ahead and find someone else to fuck, and that she thought our sex sucked anyways because I didn’t typically cum fast enough for her. I explained I had no desire to have sex with someone else, and she basically said that she doesn’t want to sleep with me again. I then asked her what we were, where we in a relationship still, did she see us as single. And she told me she doesn’t know; she feels that she no longer has a spark with me. And then she mentioned that we needed to talk to a therapist to figure out what to do. this all left me very sad, and I slept less than 45 minutes over the course of the night. This morning she insisted she drive me to work and pick me up as well. She was amicable throughout the day, and this evening she has been in a good mood. This typically happens after she loses her shit.
I feel like I’m drowning. I feel the loneliest I have ever felt. I am at the point were I don’t want to go to her family Sunday night dinners, partly cuz her brother is newly engaged and I feel very jealous when he and his gf are being a typical engaged couple, and I don’t want to become more connected with her family, as that’s another painful loss during a break up.
I am unsure what I should be doing. Should I try to get to counselling, in the hopes that it helps? Or am I spinning my tires here, and I can’t see the forest for the trees? I love her, very much, and I love my kid. I don’t want to be in a situation where its split custody and I get every second weekend. I am also deeply saddened by the thought that she could replace me with another man. I honestly have never thought I would ever have a family, and now that I do, I don’t even know if I will have it come Christmas time.
I am sure there’s so much smaller nuances I missed but that’s where I am at.
What is the best way for me to help her? Is this relationship salvageable? How can I fix it? I want my child to grow up with a traditional family.
TL; DR
Started dating a girl. She got pregnant. Her demons don’t play nice. Haven’t been truly intimate coming up on a year. Is counselling even a helpful hold out. Drowning.
submitted by ThrowRA-after-use to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 04:57 Father-Son-HolyToast OP took in a sick/injured stray cat, and after an exhaustive good faith effort to find a prior owner, she adopted it. Now, years later, someone claiming to be its rightful owner is demanding the cat. And it gets weird. [Posted 2 years ago]

This is a repost. The original post is by Pettheftthrow.
Over two years ago a stray cat wandered into my yard. He had no tags and no microchip, and had multiple infected bite wounds. He was also unneutered. I had his wounds treated and made a good faith effort to find the owner. This included posting flyers, giving a description and contact info to the local vet offices and shelters, and posting to the community Facebook page and places like Craigs list and the forum for the local paper. No one came forward.
After his initial wounds healed we discovered his hind leg had been broken and had healed wrong. He needed a major operation to fix it and was neutered at the same time. Though I had originally planned to find him a new home...well, after months of physical therapy and bonding he wasn't going anywhere.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Someone contacted me on social media claiming to be the cat's original owner. The cat has a distinctive marking and he does have photos that appear to be the same cat as a kitten. He claimed that they allowed the cat outside and one night he didn't return. They assumed he was dead and per the man himself made no effort to find him. The cat was less then six months old when he disappeared and less then a year when I found him. The man claimed his daughter was devastated and wants the cat returned.
I did not confirm the cat was the same animal (since I can't know for sure), but I did say if it was the same cat I've now have him for longer then the original potiential owner (6 months vs. Almost 3 years). Due to this and the fact that he had no tag or chip and the owner never searched for him, I don't feel I have to return him.
I have not contacted the man since, but he continues to message me at least once a week and is now threatening to take me to court. (I have not replied.)
Is this something I need to worry about? Should I look into getting a lawyer? If he did try to sue for cat custody would he have a case? Considering the time line, it's likely the cat's leg was broken while in the care of the owner and my vet is willing to testify to that. Would that increase the likelihood I would win if he tried to sue?
I'm really not willing to give up this cat. I've paid over 5,000 getting him healthy, but more important then the money is the simple fact that I love the furry little jerk. I don't want him going back to a home that neglected him and let him roam without even the most basic care.
I don't believe the man knows where I live...my social media was pretty locked down as far as personal info in the first place. I don't actually know how he found me though, and that makes me nervous. If he continues contacting me is there anything I can do legally to to discourage that?
FIRST UPDATE (summary of first post removed for brevity)
On advice from the good people here I blocked further messages.
Yesterday I got a letter in the mail demanding return of the cat. Previously they were only contacting me on social media, which did not have my home address or any identifying information. I don't know how they found out where I live but I'm now very worried they might try to steal the cat. I have home security and the cat is indoor only and chipped. I'd like to think the guy wouldn't be dumb enough to break and enter, but clearly he isn't firing on all cylinders to begin with.
Should I file a police report? Can I even do that if they haven't broken any laws? The letter didn't contain any specific threats, just demands. Is there anything I can do legally to discourage further contact? Could a lawyer do something like a cease and desist letter?
I have no idea why this dude wants the cat he wrote off as dead years ago back so damn badly but kitty is happy and healthy and sassy and not going anywhere. I don't want to spend my life afraid to run out to the store though, so any advice would be much appreciated.
SECOND UPDATE
Recap. Years ago I took in an injured kitten. Earlier this year I was connected on social media by someone claiming to be the original owner. They demanded return of the kitty and I ignored them. They then escalated to sending letters to my home.
Some LA posters thought it might have been a scam. I was sceptical because they hadn't asked for money even after things had dragged on for a while. Well, I guess they were playing the long con because I just got my first letter suggesting a few hundred dollars might just assist the "owner" to move on from their loss. As a bonus, it was sent on letterhead from a nonexistent lawyer's office. If I don't pay the cat fee they plan to sue. My favorite part is that they don't specify for what, exactly. They're just going to sue. You know, like lawyers do.
I'm still kinda worried they might try to steal kitty and demand a ransom (kitty is indoor only, chipped, and rarely left alone...on days I do have to work in office I've been taking him in with me.) But yeah, I'm thinking this is one of the weirder catfishing schemes on record.
I tried to tell kitty about his custody dispute, but he just yawned in my face and joined his big brothers for a celebratory afternoon nap. Though he did hack up a hairball on my pillow yesterday...paying someone else to take him is starting to look pretty tempting.
FINAL UPDATE
You all thought it over. So did I. But no! Turns out this story really could get weirder
Recap- years ago I took in an injured stray cat. The cat was did not have a collar or chip. A good faith attempt was made to locate possible owners. After owning the cat for several years I began receiving messages on social media from someone claiming to be the original owner. They demanded I return the cat and I refused and blocked them. Eventually they escalated to sending letters to my home on letterhead from a nonexistent lawyer's office. The letters demanded I pay hundreds for the privilege of keeping the cat or they would sue (for what exactly was unspecified.) At this point it was clear this was a scam, albeit a bizarre one.
Someone on the bola thread suggested reporting the letters to the local bar association. I ignored the first two but when they kept arriving I went ahead and did so. I assume the bar association took some kind of action because the next letter I received was basically the scammer raging 'how dare you'. This was the first letter that contained an actual threat against my safety.
So, to cut this already way too long story short, I filed a police report. After some additional letters my cat now has a no contact order. Okay, okay, it's in my name, but we all know it's really for the cat.
I will say the threats were of the more creative, less actionable sort, but I'm hopeful this will truly put an end to it. This is honestly the single dumbest thing I've ever gone through.
My cat continues not to care.
submitted by Father-Son-HolyToast to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 04:03 EliteRacer415 When the night comes and distractions end - ''ah shit, here we go again''

At this point, maybe I should replay San Andreas again. Need to learn how to ride that bicycle again, must have forgotten it since the last time I tried while being a kid.
Welcome to yet another post of mine. If you decide to stay, grab a seat, some snacks, a drink as I think this is going to be one of the longer ones, even when compared to my regular posting fashion.
I'll start off where I left off with the title.
Nights are hard. Even though I can barely motivate myself to do anything during the day, I somehow manage to keep the pain at the minimum, like in a hidden place, locked away. This is obviously thanks to distractions and the fact that I'm not alone and need to be the 'regular' me in order to not make any fuss about it, which would only make it worse. I started learning making music. It's quite nice of a coping mechanism, even if it frustrates me when I make a melody and atop right there, not knowing how to turn it into a song. But it keeps me in check, constant workload for my head. I've accepted that my head will never be quiet, so I wanted to at least be in control of what's spinning in there. In the night I get overrun though, it all comes back with a force. The moment I turn off my PC and know that I'm heading to bed, ''ah shit, here we go again'' crosses my mind. Because I have to fight the pain and the urge to end it once again. Even though I try to keep a positive mindset and to not look for something to blame, I sometimes can't help but wonder, what did I do to deserve this. Obviously we all have some darker secrets, some things that weren't exactly ethical and all. But I always tried to be good whenever I could. Not as much as I try now, but still. I know it might sound naive or like I try to convince someone, but I truly have a kind heart. I'd never turn my back to someone in need. But somewhy I still didn't deserve to be happy. Somewhy I still must endure this punishment. I'd like to at least know what for am I being punished. I'd like to know what did I do wrong to deserve it. Still believing that a person and universe are one, so the only place of finding that answer is myself. I wish I was smarter to be able to find out these things faster. I'd be closer to peace then.
The unknown scares me. Not the life-after-death kind of unknown, but not knowing when or if I'll come through it. I know that people say that you will, that it'll all pass, and I try to keep that mindset too, but reality is that no one knows for sure. Even people who are living their dreams lose the battle against their own head. So there's no guarantee that I'll come through it. And it scares me. I honestly can't trust my own head anymore, as it could decide to kill me whenever it feels like it. It could delete everything that is keeping me from doing it. Fear of physical pain is long gone, so it defeated that already. Happiness is long gone too, so 2-0 already. Ahh, purpose and will to live too, so make that 4-0. The only thing that it didn't get yet is not wanting to hurt people around me. Literally the last resort, nothing else is holding it back. Mentioned endgame in a different context before, now I realise that I truly was talking about this one. It is the endgame now. Final battle. Well, if I win this one, I still have other battles to win, to equal and beat the score, but if I lose this one, it's game over. ''All you had to do was to follow that damn train, CJ.''
My body aches. Heart is hurting. Wrists are hurting, strange tension in them. Veins more visible than usual on my face. Blackness under eyes. Complete lack of energy. Muscles hurting after briefest of physical work. Not eating much. Honestly the only thing that my family noticed is that I'm not eating much. Anything else is just invisible to them. I'm not blaming them, don't get me wrong. I just think it's strange when you can clearly see pain in my face but no one notices it. Or maybe they just choose to ignore it. Or maybe it just became normal to everyone and they think it's just the way I am. No idea. It's kinda strange to start doubting your parent's ability. Always thought of them highly, still am, but somewhy wondering if they could have made some mistakes feels wrong. Nothing wrong with making mistakes, again, I'm not blaming them. But it just feels wrong.
I love falling asleep. Always had trouble to fall asleep, lately even staying asleep, but nothing's better than being asleep. The moment you start dozing off, the calmness flows into you. You know what's coming. And you wait for it. And then it comes. Nothingness. Not being aware of your own existence. It's just the best thing ever. Scientists say that people are unable to not to dream. But I truly don't dream. At first I thought the constant day dreaming is making me unable to separate daydreaming from dreaming, as I'm always on alert, in some kind of trance when sleeping. When I do dream, which happened twice in the past three months, it's like with everyone. Some dreams you remember clear as day, some fade away moments after waking up. But if I dream, I am always aware of it. So falling asleep is a blessing. I'd say it's just pitch blackness, but even pitch blackness is something. And I just shut off. Not even blackness. It's nothingness. Like I just stop existing for the night. And honestly, I think it's part of things that made it bearable. Small doses of what I crave for. It makes me want more, but if I'd have to stay awake at night, being alone, I'd just lose my mind.
To answer the Houston call and come back to Earth, I still have no idea if I'll be able to get help. I truly wasn't expecting that my own country, being the leading one in suicide rates, would take it so unprofessionaly. First attempt at getting help was the suicide hotlines, moments before starting my car, slamming the pedal to the metal and just seeing what happens. I typed in 'suicide' in google and obviously that page popped up. Opened it up, saw numbers and a website. Now the website itself looks old, so I figured I'd click the link to the website of what was supposed to be youth's mental help center or something like that. The link opened up and instead of resources and contacts to try and help suicidal people, I saw a huge add saying that they can refill your printer's ink catridge. Didn't know how to react, started laughing. Still slammed my car's pedal to the metal, proceeding in previously said plan. Braked just in time, just because my family wouldn't have to put their own son to the grave. (Cheeky citation from Crypt's song ''I'm not OK'')
Then I tried to reach out to a psychologist. Checked the prices, understood that I won't be able to afford it. So I reached out to my university psychologist. And by reaching out I mean writing them. And then waiting. And waiting. And more waiting. I had to seek out psychologist's personal Facebook account to reach out to them and actually get a response. Waited for a day more, hoping that this is finally it, I'm finally getting help. But for unknown to me reason, she redirected me to other psychologists. Now, she suggested two, both of them are in different cities than I study in, so that is already more inconvenient. (Please note that I live in a small country, so distances aren't so great, but it's still a struggle to travel when you're a student) But I said fuck it, I can at least try and go there at least once per week. No idea how any of this work, so don't knoe the frequency of visits, so forgive me if me expecting to go there every day is a bit naive. Right, so emailed the one in a closer city and more convenient than the other. Again, no answer. Emailed again. Silence. Got slightly mad, dug out a phone number and called it. The number doesn't exist. I honestly sat there for a few minutes trying to understand how much exactly it is fucked up.
Well and now the last option is in progress. Inconvenient as hell, higher spending on travel. But yeah, it's either getting help or just killing myself, so. Still the same tune though, emailed twice, no answer. Will be using my information gathering 'skills' aka google search and try to reach out via personal Facebook account. Will see what that yields. If that doesn't work either, I am really not sure what to do next. I simply cannot continue living like this. I want to either fix myself or just be done with it. I could always tell my parents, get my family doctor involved, but that's just a shitstorm waiting to happen. Imagine a mix of overdone and mostly fake sympathy and countless 'man ups' along with the questions on how is it possible and blamefests of how I'm not grateful for what I have and how selfish I am and how I should just get over it. I'm barely surviving right now, walking on the edge, so I just cannot let that happen, for the sake of the same people who would only push me towards it.
So yeah I'd put a TL:DR here, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to shorten it even slightly. Apologies if there are any typos, it's 5am here, so I think I should better be trying to get that sweet portion of nothingness instead of going through the text, looking for mistakes.
If you're read through this, I thank you. I hope we both come through it. I hope we both will have enough strength to at least try. If we don't succeed, I hope we'll find that long awaited peace.
Thank you for being.
submitted by EliteRacer415 to depression [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 03:16 drowninmysorrows Relationship & life have taken a turn for the worst!

I don’t know if anyone has the patience to read all of this or this is the right place for my post but I need to tell my story this has ruined my life and relationship and I’m beyond having a difficult time coping with my emotions.
Before I start I’d like to explain my relationship was far from perfect but we loved eachother enough to work past a lot of differences and be there for eachother through some difficult times in the past. we have been together for about 6 yrs and known eachother since we were 14 yrs old we also have 5 children (2 girls 3 boys) she had 2 boys from a previous relationship that I love as my own. Also I’d like to mention all our children are on the autism spectrum and have some mild delays we have had special teachers and child link services in our home for years all our children ages range from 7yrs to 1yrs old.
Only July 1st our oldest son who is 7 had been acting up and not listening for most of the day bullying his younger siblings and taking there toys from them and throwing his food around the house like a trash can. after plenty of verbal talks and reasoning you could tell this day was gonna be a bit rough. He was acting out more then usual which was making the day more challenging then expected. We had him stay in his room for a few hours by himself to let him calm down. Later on that day we had company come over to hangout out front of the pool. We decided to let him out due to the time spent In his room and to give him another chance for the day. Mom and everyone spent most of the time out front while I tried to catch up on some rest. Sometime goes by and I started hearing yelling out front I quickly go check to see what was going on Our son again was getting in trouble from mom due to causing her to brake her new phone (he knocked it out of her hands) not listening about running around and rough housing to much with his cousins in the pool at this point she yells and tells me to bring him inside “he’s out of hand I’ve had enough for the day” I tell him to come inside and go to his room. As he walks up stairs I go to grab my phone from the kitchen and I suddently hear my son screaming at the top of his lungs and loud noises from his room an hallway I quickly go to see what happened and yell out to him but no reply as I quickly get to the steps I see him “slamming his head against the wall repeatedly” in an attempt in a few split seconds I try to restrain him by his shoulders but as I lean into grab him my hand slides off his shoulder (which he was still wet from the pool) hitting him in the face. I quickly stop and tell I’m sorry and make sure he is ok several times he tells me he is ok and asked if he could return to the pool. Feeling bad about the situation I tell him to go outside with the rest of our family. At this point I decided to hangout in the house and make dinner and go on with the rest of my day. About 30 mins later I get a text message from my girlfriend asking what happened to his face?? I quickly reply and say idk and tell her about the incident within this time there must of formed a mark and it started taking shape and had a small bruise (this made me feel even worse about the situation because prior when I checked him there was nothing) after our conversation our company leaves and the rest of us head inside for the night. We later on discuss after dinner if what happened we should take him to the hospital or to the pediatrician my girlfriend at this time had a lot of anxiety when going to hospitals over COVID-19 and we decided to call the pediatrician to make an appointment for the next day but could only get a later appointment that night at 6pm we decided to take the appointment and look after our son to see if his face turned out any worse. I felt nothing but guilt the whole time and beat myself up the rest of the night over the accident.
Most of the next day goes by waiting for our appointment and at around 6pm we start to head out to leave when 2 women show up to our home asking my girlfriend about the situation with our sons face. As I walk out the door both women look at me with this face as if I’m guilty and a threat (I am tattooed and tall) the one women approaching me asks “ how did this happen” as I start to explain she interrupts me and proceeds to not let me Finnish talking on multiple occasions I tried to explain what happened but every time I did the 2 women would interrupt me or ignore most of what I was saying and change the subject to what they wanted to know. at this point I felt I have no rights in speaking so I decided to walk away and go back in my home to call my social worker about what was going on I could over here them talking “oh he definitely did this with bad intentions” he looks like an abuser” “all I know is we can’t leave the kids here them and mom are gonna have to leave the residence until we figure out what steps to take” these were the words I could over here the 2 women saying this completely devastated me, I felt like my heart was crushed into my stomach my girlfriend just looked at me in disgust as if at that point she hated me the only words to leave her mouth before taking most of our children’s belongings with her was “I don’t have time for this right now” “ look at the fucking bullshit you caused” torn I felt more low then ever and could do nothing. It watch as my family was essentially robbed from me. As they left my home I could see one of my neighbors approach them saying something that “they have been fighting in front of there kids for years” wanting nothing more then to retaliate I couldn’t it would only make me look worse (we have had problems with these neighbors since I moved here)
I spent most of my days not eating and crying myself to sleep with little motivation for anything. This was a complete nightmare I recall sitting in my kitchen for hours just heart broken over a situation that I never had intent. To do anything other then prevent my son from hurting him self replaying it backfiring on me over and over again. At this point I felt myself losing grip on reality most days but my Situation only gets worse from here. All I was told was I was for “21” days I couldn’t be in physical contact with my children well in that time my girlfriend actions towards me only grew worse “belittling me” mentally abusing me making me feel like I have no self worth the way she switched up from the person I knew her as completely killed me inside nothing has been more painful for me then this she constantly would ignore my calls even with trying to see my children on FaceTime she became more distant towards me. Would constantly put me down, play with my emotions and use me for money as a way of manipulating me with using my children as an excuse with her knowing the only things I wanted was to see my children (through FaceTime) seeing I can’t be in contact with them in person her love and attention and being there for me in these circumstances that have wrongly ruined my character within her family.
After about a month and a lengthy letter of complaints to the DHS board they FINALLY decided to come to my house to interview “my side of the story” I didn’t know I had no rights to speak. They interrogated me but I have no reason to feel guilty knowing it was an honest accident I had my brother and friend present at this time so they could witness any malicious or fail play being pushed on me as they questioned everything about that day in my home. I told them the truth the women who was the one lady’s supervisor from being at my home the first time mentioned how “they don’t treat men fairly in there line of business” and that they’re “sexist” I couldn’t believe witnessing these words from this women’s mouth but it made a lot of sense how I was treated. Nothing has gotten better since I still haven’t seen my children in about 4 months i have “dependency court” October 1st and I don’t know what to expect at all. I just know that this whole experience has been a nightmare my relationship and life has been going down hill. It’s been so hard to focus on anything other then the pain and depression I’ve been going through.
My relationship with their mother has been destroying me but I love her too much to let go I just can’t believe how easily she has turned her back on me it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions hanging on to my relationship it’s been so difficult to function I’ve been losing grip of reality most days I’ve spent thousands to help her with our children make her happy treat her to lunch and dinner most days to show her how much I care I bought her a promise ring, I put her first in line with everything going on I took her shopping and sacrificed so much to show her what she means to me spoiled my heart and soul out to her just to always keep feeling like I’m last place i took all her mental abuse and drowned in my sorrows every day went above and beyond to help her with errands (we now live 45 mins away) I’ve caught a few things that have made me suspicious of her. When she went to the shore she had a few drinks with her family well her brothers girlfriend apparently tried to get her to hook up with some random guy at the shore she put his phone number in her phone and gave it back to her he apparently tried calling and she claimed she blocked him (she didn’t tell me this until weeks later on her own) then I found out she had another Snapchat made I did the dumb thing by bringing it up because we don’t live together anymore she was easily able to deny it even though her emoji looked exactly like her and has the same name as her Instagram an hour later it was deleted (I searched on different accounts) she still Denys it even though I asked multiple friends and they all said it was a 100 percent her! Then with the most recent situation she spent the day with me and my insecure self went through her phone (I know I probably shouldn’t have) but something kept telling me to I went on her Facebook messages and went through her and her brothers girlfriend messages to see her brothers girlfriend say “so you’re sending “not gonna put his name” butt pictures and she replied with 🤣🤣🤣🤣 emojis. I confronted her immediately after and she denied it saying she never sent them but something doesn’t sit well with me about this the next day I go searching on Facebook of course I couldn’t find out that day she was over to confirm if there was any messages between the two but I did see she laugh reacted to a post he made about “you’re not really my friend if you don’t send booty pics” from the said guys Facebook the same day her brothers girlfriend messaged her about it and she also laughed reacted to other sexual memes this guy posted... this has been so difficult for me to deal with. I feel so lost and heartbroken with everything that has been happening to me I’m losing ways to cope her behavior and actions of this i don’t care attitude and leading me on to believe she does love me and care about me I don’t know how much longer I can go on........any advice anything I could take in with some hope to help me would be greatly appreciated. This has been killing me inside and I been at my wits end with everything no one deserves to suffer this much......? I have suffered enough!
submitted by drowninmysorrows to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:51 aquainst1 I'd never heard of 'Repopulation Orders' aka lifting evac orders re: wildfires. This was emailed to me by Los Angeles Sheriff's Dept because I'd signed up for alerts from the Walnut Division of LASD close to where I live.

This is so interesting to me, that different firefighting areas have different names, though I shouldn’t be surprised. I’d never heard of ‘repopulation orders’. Evacuation orders, yes, but not repopulation orders.
I get these updates in my email from the LA County Sheriff. This was the return address from my email:
LASD - Los Angeles County Sheriffs Dept Information Bureau (SIB) ([[email protected]mails.nixle.com](mailto:la[email protected]ils.nixle.com))
Here's the body of my email:
“Advisory: BOBCAT FIRE REPOPULATION ORDERS on September 23, 2020 at 1:00 PM, Clear, Sand and Ward
Dear Nixle User,
BOBCAT FIRE REPOPULATION ORDERS
A repopulation order, on September 23, 2020 at 1:00 PM, has been issued in Clear, Sand and Ward for the residents only in the following areas:
Clear, Sand, and Ward
The hard work and efforts of the multi-agency firefighting crews, and cooperating partners resulted in lifting evacuation orders for residents only in the Clear, Sand, and Ward areas.
Crews are still working to fully control the fire. Please note, Unified Incident Commanders and cooperators continue to evaluate all evacuated areas for future repopulations. Soft closure residents must present identification to repopulate. Livestock and animals are allowed to repopulate.
Evacuation Orders have been lifted and changed to warnings for the following areas:
Clear Areas: North of East Avenue W-14, South of Pearblossom Highway, East of 155th Street East, West of 165th Street East
Sand Areas: North of Big Pine Highway and Highway 2, South of 138th Street East, East of Largo Vista Road, West of 263rd Street. The southwestern region of the Sand Area may have power outages.
Ward Areas: North of Fort Tejon Road, South of East Avenue V, East of 87th Street East, West of 121st Street East
SAFETY: There are many hazards that may exist when returning to your home after a wildfire. These hazards can include fire ash, damaged utilities, exposed and burned structures, as well as hazardous materials. To protect yourself from these hazards, it is important to utilize personal protective equipment that can include breathing protection (N-95 rated respirators), protective clothing, gloves, and boots, as well as eye/face protection. For more information on returning safely to your home after a wildfire, please visitCity Website: National Forest Service Hotline: (626) 574-5208. For more information please call the Fire Information line at (626) 574-5208.
Visit Ready, Set, Go! at fire.lacounty.gov/rsg/ Fire Information: Inciweb: inciweb.nwcg.gov and search “Bobcat”, Angeles National Forest Facebook: @angelesnationalforest Angeles Twitter: @angeles_NF ,Los Angeles County Fire Department Twitter: @LACoFDPIO”
submitted by aquainst1 to CERT [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:13 m_eye_nd No one talks about the side of grief that makes you angry!

My friend recently died, she was 24. I woke up a couple of weeks ago to a text saying “she’s dead”. I immediately thought maybe a friends dog had died or something, I’m not sure why that was my first thought. I guess you don’t expect your friend to die this young. I opened the message and I saw a photo of a GoFundMe with my young, beautiful friend’s face on it. I responded with “no she’s not”. Because my initial response was shock and disbelief. How and why is my friend dead. Surely she’s not.
What’s worse is I didn’t know how she had died. The friend who told me only found out through the GoFundMe and all that was said is she died in a road accident. When? Who was driving? Was the person driving under the influence? Did they die too? Was she in pain? Was it quick? How did it happen? So many questions raced through my mind.
I searched her Facebook looking for answers. I stupidly wanted to text her to ask what happened... my brain was not making sense of things. I still can’t grasp she’s gone. All I saw on Facebook is a post from her Mum saying goodbye and dated the 3rd of September as her death. It was the 10th and I felt sick knowing she’d already been gone for a few days and I didn’t even know.
I messaged her Mum asking if there is anything I can do. I really just wanted to go the funeral, I wanted to say goodbye to my friend. I remember when we sat in a pub together discussing how we would like our funerals to be. How many people we think would turn up. Yet here I am, with absolutely no information about how she is being laid to rest.
Her Mum never replied to me. I’m sure she’s overwhelmed with pain and responding to texts is the last thing she is thinking of right now. So I left it, I searched google and I found a news article. She was airlifted and died overnight in hospital with her family surrounding her. She had just decorated her room and was on her way to her new job promotion. A part of me feels comforted knowing things were looking up for her and she had a troubled life at times. Another part of me thinks what is the point of things looking up for her when she couldn’t even get to enjoy them.
I wrote a post on my social media and I shared pictures and I said how much I love her. The worst thing is we fell out before she died. We fell out over something stupid and silly and I know we would have made up eventually. But I’m stubborn, I leave things too long out of not wanting to hurt my pride. I wish more than anything I could have told her I was sorry and it doesn’t matter and that I love her. I just really want to squeeze her, I really want to hug her so badly and tell her I love her. I hope she died knowing she is loved. I keep writing ‘was’ instead of ‘is’, but her death doesn’t change how I feel about her. She IS my friend and she IS loved.
It sickens me seeing other people write on social media saying how they knew her when they hadn’t spoken to her in years. Saying how they are so sorry and so heartbroken when they were not close at all. It’s funny how these people all pop up when you are dead, but are nowhere to be found when you are alive. How dare they. It makes me seething with anger. Because these people are only sharing her death on social media to receive pity, attention and sympathy for themselves. It makes me so angry it’s like a giant ball of fire is piercing through my chest.
After a few days of no response from her Mum I messaged a mutual friend. I had seen she had been asking people to donate to the GoFund me. She had studied for two years with my friend, they did their A levels together. But they were not close. She did not bother with her after their studies, they didn’t hang out together outside of their studies. They were not friends in that way. Not like me and her, we grew up together throughout school. Even when I moved away for 4 years for university I still kept in contact. And as soon as I came back we hung out together. We went on a trip for her birthday and we went to a rave together and got drunk and did silly things together. Because we ARE friends.
This girl read my message asking her if there was a headstone or somewhere I could pay my respects and say goodbye to my friend, and she ignored it! She ignored my message. Who does that? I am her friend not her and she has the audacity to read my pain and dismiss it as nothing. Does she really think that’s how my friend would want her friends to be treated?!
I am so angry. All I want to do is say goodbye to my friend and I have been denied that. I can’t move on. I can’t believe she is gone when I can’t even say goodbye. And here we have people who didn’t even care for her pretending they do now she is dead. Yes I can say goodbye to her myself and create my own little goodbye ceremony, but it’s not the same. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to her. Everyone wrote their stupid RIP posts and that’s it. Now it’s like life has just moved on, no one cares, but I do, I care. I will always care. My friend deserved the best send off in the entire world. I just want to tell her I love her. I just want to talk to her and say goodbye even though I know she’s not here. I miss her.
I love you A x
submitted by m_eye_nd to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:54 SpoonFedGang Did the new FaceBook messenger app remove sharing live location?? I can’t find it anywhere anymore. I used to use it in group chats when we were meeting up in a park or something to make it easier to find each other with the blips. Can anyone confirm this for me??

Did the new FaceBook messenger app remove sharing live location??
I’ve tried searching everywhere and all google tells me is articles on how to share your live locations but they are from 2019 and before. This is really dumb that they would remove this feature if they did
submitted by SpoonFedGang to facebook [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:35 rockformations My wife chose meth, she chose to cheat, she chose to destroy our family [therapy]

This is a long one:
Me (48) with a wife (45) currently still married for 21 years but we’ve been separated for the last two, dated for seven years before marriage and nearing the end of the divorce. For financial reasons it still isn’t over.
Somewhere around five years ago she decided to start snorting crystal meth. She and I had some minor drug issues in the past but when she became pregnant with our first kid in 2002, the drug days came to an end. It was time to be parents and stay away from that scene, and we did. Crystal meth was never in the picture in those days, never been around it, didn’t know what a person is like while on it. Which explains my cluelessness for so long when she completely turned into another woman, an evil psychotic woman. I thought she was losing her mind, she seemed suddenly schizophrenic, suddenly needed to be in a straight jacket, I just didn’t know what the hell was going on, she hid it for as long as she could. I found her a psychiatrist, we tried several medicines, she was pretending to me and everyone else that she didn’t know what was happening to her so she reluctantly went and sometimes fought like hell not to go to the sessions.
She knew why she was out of her mind but nobody else did, not even the psychiatrist, she refused to do any blood work for obvious reasons. Me, my family, her family, our friends, none of us had a knowledge of crystal meth and what it does. None of us had a clue. It just wasn’t something that had ever been in our circle and not a single person thought meth might be the problem. So she continued to use, turned into an even worse unpredictable monster, basically quit her role as a mother, and turned our home into a living hell. She eventually admitted to being on it after a horrific family vacation.
There’s no reason to go into the attempts to get her clean but let’s just say she didn’t embrace sobriety and stayed on it. I couldn’t win, she fought every attempt at fixing the problem, our family was coming to an end and meth was more important.
During the last two and a half years we were together, what I refer to as the meth years, she cheated an unknown amount of times with two men that I now know of. I didn’t have proof during this time but it was damned obvious she was cheating with somebody. Soon after we split two years ago I found out about one, recently I learned of a second, which has led me to post this. On all the lists of destructive things that meth users do, their sexual appetite and their ‘don’t give a fuck’ shoots through the roof, she did everything on those lists but those two specific things ended our marriage, along with the violence.
I knew she was cheating because of her projection. Whatever she was guilty of, she accused me of doing. She’s been that way since we met and no doubt since she was able to talk. Meth made it a million times worse. Her constant and most prevalent accusation was that I had a girlfriend and I was cheating on her. I didn’t and never have but I faced constant interrogation and investigation as if I did. The name I gave this made-up girlfriend was the phantom woman (PW). She would search literally all night and day for proof of PW, every hair from any place in the house or my car was PWs, every piece of fuzz on the floor PW left, a scooted rug on the floor, PW did it, any dust was PW’s makeup, a sound in the woods behind our house was PW waiting for the right moment to come in. She could open any box that stored just miscellaneous things and find proof of me cheating, she could smell dirty clothes and say it smelled like PW’s ass, any stain on clothes was from PW’s vagina or my ejaculate. She could open a drawer and find years worth of cheating proof from anything in there. She’d search my car, my truck, my wallet, my Facebook. In her mind every app on my phone was a secret app that hid photos or was used for secret communication. Life was absolute hell going through this because it was almost every damn day. While this was going on her affair(s) were also going on. In her mind not only was her cheating a retaliation and revenge for the PW but also an excuse to go get laid. Whether or not they knew about each other or the affairs overlapped, I don’t know, doesn’t matter. Gaining any knowledge on things like that hurts and frankly it’s useless information at this point.
During this hell I couldn’t begin to come up with an accurate number of how many times she beat me. Over our many years there were a few times she hit me, meth made it a million times worse. I still can’t believe she never broke her hand on my head, she’d hit me with everything she had. Pictures off the wall she tried to break them over my head, we hardly had a lamp left in the house because she would throw them at me or break them over me as I shielded myself. She broke a broom handle over my head, headbutts to my head, she tried to shove me down the stairs, came at me with box cutters once, and I ran. Once she came at me with scissors and I stood there. I told her to do it, stab me. She threw them at me, missed, and it stuck in the wall like she was a damn ninja. I’m not sure where the control came from to not hit her back because I sure wanted to. You get pummeled in the head over and over, you would want to hit back too, I don’t care who you are. I just knew I couldn’t no matter what. My kids, my house, my everything, I feared I would lose. Taken from me by a meth addict who was abusing and cheating on me on a regular basis. One hit in retaliation from the hundreds I took was something I simply couldn’t do. My life was already being destroyed, I couldn’t make it worse by striking her. All it would have taken was one from me. It may sound like a big bad woman beating on a little man but that’s far from the case, I’m five inches taller and outweigh her by probably seventy lbs.
I called the police on her twice, should have more I guess, but the way it worked out, twice was OK. First time they took a report and told me to stay somewhere else for a night. Even though they knew the violence was coming from her, I was told to leave. I could have shown the police the text where she said she was going to kill me but I didn’t. The second time I called the police, a few months later, was a day of nonstop texts accusing me of cheating and telling me she was coming home to beat me again and again. Two days prior to this I received the worst beating I had ever had by her and I wasn’t about to get another. Yes, everything is saved but the texts from this day are now public record due to what happened next.
When you go through hell like this you eventually develop a plan for most scenarios. —Many thanks go to online chats with abuse hotlines for the help because I had absolutely no one else to turn to for advice—. I had a lockdown plan to where she couldn’t get into our house unless she broke through a window which she claimed she was going to do. I let her know repeatedly if she showed up I was calling the police. She came anyway, I called 911 immediately, she couldn’t get in, she texted threat after threat from outside, the police showed up in less than 10 minutes, the high as hell bulletproof maniac had meth in her pocket, she got cuffed and off to jail she went, felony possession of meth. I filed a protection order the next morning. Somebody bailed her out after three days, not really sure who, don’t care, the beginning of our end had really begun at this point so asking questions of her ended too. Social services immediately got involved and she lost any unsupervised interaction with our kids for almost a year. Now, two years later she gets one weekend a month with them. She’s clean because of the mandatory drug tests. If she tests positive she goes to jail.
I got full custody of the kids, still do today except for the one weekend a month and it will remain this way after the divorce. She simply can’t contest it with her record. During this process her physical abuse of me came to light through interviews with the kids and also with me, I was finally able to tell someone about it. Sadly, my kids witnessed more than I care to discuss, ever again, with anyone, except them, only if they want to.
I didn’t want to know anymore about her cheating. I knew enough. I was getting along OK until I recently learned of the second one and it took me down to a level of sadness I hadn’t been too in a while. I didn’t think any new revelation would hurt me this bad because I literally haven’t touched her in two years, hardly even speak to her but getting cheated on is the worst damn thing. I’d much rather take the hits to the head than be cheated on, but I got both, at the same time. I wonder a lot if I’ll ever fully get over this. I’m not sure what I did to deserve it.
According to her this is all my fault. Her family, who I’ve always loved, are convinced it is as well. This is one of her skills, ignoring her actions and spreading falsehoods with zero regrets and full confidence. As I type this I’m probably getting smeared by her. She’s one of those people who has never done anything wrong because there is always somebody or something to blame, no matter what. And since it’s not her fault, she’s innocent. She also, no matter what awful thing she’s done, can somehow very easily convince herself and others that I’ve done the same thing too, or worse, so the things she did was only done to get even.
There has been apologies from her, there has been plenty of begging to let her come back home, but they get outweighed by the cheating, the horrific moments, and her shit talking mouth blaming me for it all. Everything. I was a good husband, by no means the best, but always there and always did what she needed me to do. Provided, fixed things, built things specifically to make her happy, cooked, cleaned, good father to our kids, and we made love literally thousands of times over the years. Usually 1 to 2, sometimes 3 times a week since 1992. I was faithful and didn’t do things behind her back. I don’t want to be done wrong so I don’t do people wrong. A philosophy she didn’t share
The divorce will continue, there will never be reconciliation. We have a hate for each other and sadly we can’t possibly put on the fake happy face for the kids. She hates me for not forgiving her, and in her mind, me being the cause, I hate her for the cheating, the nightmarish hell, and betrayal she did to our family. I’m still heartbroken at the loss of my life as I knew it and where I thought it would go for us. It’s been two years since her arrest and mentally I’m not in much of a better place that time usually provides. Nobody I personally know has had an experience even remotely similar to mine. In my world I’m the absolute only one. The only one that had a meth wife and the only one to repeatedly got beat by his wife. I’m the only father I personally know that is 100% sole custodian of his kids while not being a widower, I’m lucky there though. There are things I should really be happy about when it comes to my current situation and a lot of times I am, but overall I can’t shake the bad memories and visions of the cheating, it’s nonstop, its exhausting, and it’s really pissing me off. So much, I finally scheduled an appointment with professional help which is long overdue. I hope it helps.
submitted by rockformations to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 08:44 ThrowRASssh my boyfriend talked dirty to a woman on a language learning app, says it’s not cheating because nothing physical happened

Hi everyone,
First off, I want to say that our relationship has been going pretty well, despite the fact that he got laid off a couple of months ago due to COVID. He hasn’t been actively searching for a job, to be honest, so he spends his free time at the gym, watch anime and helps me (a bit) around the house. I still do most of the household, even though I work full time. I earn enough to cover all our expenses and I inherited the house we live in, so we don’t pay rent or mortgage. I trusted him 100%.
So here goes: My (31) boyfriend (25) has been using an app on his phone called Tandem for a couple of weeks. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but I noticed that he slowly started using it only when I’m at work or somewhere else that is not home with him. I’m also on that app (he knows this), and you can see when someone has been active. I also noticed that he mainly talks to Japanese girls, and when I pointed that out, he said it’s just to learn Japanese. I am not Japanese, but Korean. He has a weird obsession for everything Japanese.
Yesterday, he was supposed to cook us dinner while I was at work, because I did all the cooking on Sunday. He texted me a couple of times during the day, and in the afternoon he asked me every now and then what time I would be home. I thought that was because he wanted to make sure dinner would be ready when I arrived. All of a sudden he said he was having a “lazy day” and said there was still leftovers from yesterday, that I had cooked. Said he was very tired from the weekend. I was disappointed and expressed that to him, and asked what he had been doing all day besides “talking to his side chicks on Tandem”. I looked on the app and saw that he was active. I asked him what he’s doing and he said he was watching anime.
Anyway, I came home pretty late from work. He hugged and kissed me when I arrived. My phone battery was about to die, and I wanted to order some food from uber eats. My charger was still in the car, so I asked for his phone but he refused to give it to me. This was odd because he always lets me use his phone when I ask for it. He paused his anime to get up and walk to the car to get my charger. I got suspicious and so I took his laptop. Logged into his Tandem account (Through his Facebook, where he was already logged onto) and skimmed through the first three conversations. These were all conversations that ended an hour before I arrived home. The first two conversations were just normal conversations. He always says he’s learning Japanese on this app, but I only see him speaking English to Japanese girls. There was this one Japanese girl that I recognized from seeing his chats a couple of weeks before. He had sent her a couple of pictures of himself, but there was nothing weird, so I thought nothing of it. They had also exchanged voice messages. Again, nothing weird. But yesterday, I skimmed through his messages to her because his last message to her was “Think about me - wink emoji” and suddenly I saw him saying to her: “I’d fuck you up against a wall”. I could see him telling her that he felt horny multiple times and asked for her pictures. He told her she was beautiful, that they would look great together. He called her a queen and that he would treat her body so well. That he can hardly contain himself because she is so perfect for him, etc. Asked her what she thought of his penis size. She didn’t talk dirty back to him, she took it lightly and I could see that he was trying really hard to get her to talk dirty to him.
When I scrolled back further, I could see him telling her that he is single, that his “ex” (me) was ready for kids and he was not.
I wanted to keep it quiet and see how the conversation would progress and catch him doing more, like sending pictures and stuff but I couldn’t hold back anymore asked him about Tandem and if I could see his phone. He didn’t know I had already seen all of the messages, and refused to give me his phone. Saying that he shouldn’t have to share his phone with me. I asked if he flirted with girls on the app and demanded the truth. He denied of course, and only when I started dropping hints of their conversation, he said that he was just fooling around. He was so confused to how I was able to see his messages. So I acted like I was bluffing, by being vague and not quoting anything that was said in the conversation. So he said that he had only complemented her and that it felt good to get confirmation from someone else, to feel wanted by someone else. That he was aroused but that was all.
When I started to quote what he said, his face turned pale. I could see the embarrassment on his face. He mumbled that he was just talking bs and that he didn’t mean any of it. He said it was not cheating because he didn’t send any nudes and nothing physical happened. He compares it with watching porn.
He broke my trust and went about talking dirty to another girl behind my back. What do I do???? Is this something to break up over? Am I overreacting?
submitted by ThrowRASssh to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 06:08 chronoplaid [watch humor] The Balance Cock Bugle: Watch news... with "the Onion" treatment

[watch humor] The Balance Cock Bugle: Watch news... with
Courtesy of TwoBrokeWatchSnobs.com

Balance Cock Bugle

Husband with Selective Taste Begs Wife, “Please, Please Don’t Buy Me Another Watch”

SOUTH ORANGE, NEW JERSEY – Mark Mueller, 42, stared at the face of his Fossil-brand timepiece, “…actually it doesn’t have a model name. I suppose it doesn’t need one.” He bit down on his quivering lip and furrowed his brow before closing his eyes, “and it’s quartz so I don’t need to worry about winding it.”
Incidentally, Mueller hadn’t procured the watch himself. It was a gift from his wife (one watch of many actually) that wouldn’t have been his first choice… or second or third… if it were ever up to him. Over the years he’d amassed several dozen, all of which were incredible mark-downs from their original MSRP costs that were “too good to pass up.”
Mueller tried to explain the persisting phenomenon, “She says gift giving is her love language…” He removed the Fossil and placed it with the others in his repurposed cookie tin box “…whatever that means.” He shook the tin from side to side as if panning for gold before picking up another, “This DKNY one was originally $399 but she found it at Macy’s for less than seventy if you can believe it. She’s got a real nose for this kind of stuff.”
When pressed about the origins of his interest, Mueller sheepishly confided, “Actually my dad had a Rolex when I was a kid. It was the only thing I’d ever seen him wear. He used to let me shake it back and forth and I could feel the rotor spin through the case. It was almost cathartic.” His eyes distilled toward a wandering haze, “I made the mistake of telling Sandra that story and birthdays haven’t really ever been the same since… or promotions… or Hanukah.”
In his closing remarks, Mueller clarified, “Not ‘mistake’,” rocking his head side to side, “perhaps ‘overshared.’ I mean why own one or two Rolexes when you could have several dozen-” His voice trailed off before reaching back in the box, “…Kenneth Cole Reactions.”

freepngimg.com

Mark Zuckerberg Purchases Rolex Brand… Just Because.

In an unexpected turn of events, billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, 36, ignited global controversy with his decision to purchase Rolex SA—quite possibly the only other corporate identity capable of challenging the brand awareness of Facebook’s social empire.
In response to the shaken investors as to why, he simply shrugged, “Because I could.”
It was a move of unprecedented spontaneity for the watch world… most of all for Jean-Frederic Dufour, Rolex’s CEO who, upon hearing the news of the backdoor deal, muttered in disbelief, “He can’t actually do this, can he? What the hell just happened…?”
Choosing to forgo a press conference, Zuckerberg had this to say: “While boredom should be reason enough, I guess there’s just something intrinsically special to this particular brand’s mastery of exclusivity… the concept of unobtainability is one I’ve always sought to patent and apply toward all business dealings… whether it’s intellectual property or anything else one might hold dear.” Zuckerberg let out a chuckle, “Like that one time I bought half of Kauai just to fence it off and piss off the locals.” He shook his head, “Sure was worth it to see their faces though.”
Watch collectors have already begun to posture their savings accounts for the trials that lie ahead, polling Instagram users with annoying requests to highlight their preferences for the non-Rolex “sell pile.” In the meantime, Zuckerberg’s latest Tweet only furthered the panic, “That new blueberry Submariner kind of reminds me of our Facebook logo,” he remarked. “I think I’ll keep that one. All of that one. The ‘smurf’ too.”
While community opposition has begun to mount against Zuckerberg’s further restriction of product flow, he remains cryptic, “The future exists in China, which is exactly why we’ll relocate our headquarters for operations in Beijing where we’ll quadruple production. This is not to say they’ll become more widely available… we don’t even know what Rolex is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go. A million Submariners isn’t cool, you know what’s cool? A billion Submariners.”
Upon saying this, Zuckerberg paused a beat and gazed at his Timex, “Perhaps I’ll keep all of those too.”

Balance Cock Bugle

IWC Stoked That COVID and BLM Have Eclipsed the Toxic Male Investigations Led by #MeToo.

LOS ANGELES, CA—For many, 2019’s cultural shift could best be remembered as the wake up call America needed to acknowledge the victimization caused by sexual abuse. To some, it was simply “a good start.” Regardless, the media carried its message loud and clear; no person or entity would be spared the investigative scrutiny driven by the #MeToo movement. While reports are inconclusive, it’s estimated that those impacted were at least 90 percent women.
The ensuing audit of our culture for trace amounts of testosterone was thorough enough to impress the most stringent of gestapo—there was little IWC could do to bypass the attention, lest they remove all the, “absolutely no girls allowed signs” duct taped to their exhibition case displays.

Balance Cock Bugle
It wouldn’t be long before 2020’s coronavirus and civil unrest would pivot the nation’s focus. Chad Richards, IWC’s head of U.S. marketing, was counting his blessings.
“F**k me, bro,” he began. “They had us by the balls for sure. I didn’t know if we’d ever be able shake the bad press haunting us from those earlier ads.”
Richards took a beat to adjust his belt buckle, further adding, “I mean, it was like… we stepped in a s**t… which was actually the baited trigger of a bear trap… one of those big, old rustic ones that would look badass on your office wall, you know? Only… on the side, instead of “made in America” it read, ‘How do you like me now, bitch?’ He motioned his hips, figuratively thrusting upward, ‘F**k you, f**k you, f**k you,'” and eventually concluded, “Literally, it required several acts of God to pry off their lockjaw.”
When questioned if IWC had anything to add regarding BLM or the pandemic, he replied, “Yes, absolutely. God bless BLM, God bless COVID, God bless the troops, and God bless America. Stay safe, you guys. It’s all kinds of nuts out there.”
Editor’s Note: The TBWS crew wants to clarify that these are real IWC ads and they’ve not been manipulated in any way.

Balance Cock Bugle

Top Reddit Watch Seller Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

OSLO, NORWAY — Pat Ramachandran, noted Reddit watch seller with a transaction bling score over 25,000, was today nominated for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. Berit Reiss-Andersen, chairperson of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, was effusive in her praise of Ramachandran: “In the past year, despite a global pandemic, social unrest, and economic catastrophe, [Ramachandran] successfully found homes for thousands of neglected watches.”
“Our committee took the time to read through every impassioned Reddit post, noting that every single piece, despite being in ‘like new’ condition with ‘only a few faint marks’, had been suffering from painful yet preventable conditions such as insufficient wrist time and lengthy captivity within watch boxes. By helping to send these to good homes, Pat showed true selflessness and extreme care for these deprived timepieces. What ultimately led to our decision, however, were Direct Messages that explained Ramachandran was taking a hit on every transaction.”
The fact that Ramachandran’s nomination was announced publicly came as a shock, as the Nobel regulations stipulate that nominees’ names be sealed for fifty years before release. However, the Committee chose to allow this nomination to be made publicly in order to bolster Ramachandran’s chances to win the world’s top humanitarian achievement, a guest spot on Talking Watches.

Balance Cock Bugle

Man Tears Rotator Cuff Trying To Get Rolex Into Frame On Video Call

WANTAGH, NEW YORK — “Look, part of my job is knowing what I’m talking about. How the hell am I supposed to be taken seriously during Zoom calls if these f**king plebs can’t see my Rolex?”
Brandon Jung officially filed for worker’s compensation after purportedly injuring himself during the regular course of his employment as a Digital Marketing Project Manager for ReadySetMarketing, a reputation management business located in Wantagh, NY.
When asked why his Rolex needed to be in the Zoom frame, Mr, Jung replied, “Are you serious right now, man? We need to show our clients that we’re on the bleeding edge of what digital marketing has become and what it’s going to be. These people expect us to represent ourselves to the highest possible standards because Manhattan eats digital marketing agencies alive. A Rolex tells everyone in the room that you mean f*cking business and should be taken seriously.”
When corrected that his current employment location of Wantagh, NY was in fact over 40 miles away from Manhattan, Mr, Jung looked down at my Timex MKI, back at me, and refused to respond.
We reached out to Brandon’s supervisor Bob Spatz, ReadySetMarketing’s CMO, for comment. “What? CMO? I mean, I guess, but – listen we’re a small group here. There’s 5 of us including Brandon. We mainly deal with reputation management. You know, writing positive Yelp reviews for local restaurants, creating NAP data, and managing people’s ‘Google My Business’ accounts. I wouldn’t classify what we do as ‘digital marketing’.”
We asked about Mr. Jung’s title of “Digital Marketing Project Manager” to which Mr. Spatz responded “says here he’s a ‘Reputation Associate'” he explains, reading off Brandon’s hard copy employee file. “We’re not too strict with titles around here.”
We asked Mr. Jung about his CMO’s comments regarding his actual title of ‘Reputation Associate.’
“Of course he lied to you, you’re wearing a f*cking Daniel Wellington.”
ReadySetMarketing is contesting Mr. Jung’s filing of worker’s compensation, stating that his Rolex isn’t an essential tool for his day to day duties and that no one else in the video call had their camera on except him.

Balance Cock Bugle

YouTube Watch Reviewer Confused That He Can’t Pay Rent with Freebies

LOS ANGELES, CA — “I showed her the quality of the logo on the box.” Blaine Reed, the YouTube watch reviewer, explained as he raised a box for us to see the embossed lettered. “See? That’s pressed into the box – not printed. Quality! And these – look,” Mr. Reed then showed us that the watch brand’s logo was also on the extra straps they included. “Attention to detail – boom. But she didn’t care. She was all like ‘Sir, we can’t accept your watches as a rent payment’.”
Late on Thursday September 3rd, the popular YouTube watch reviewer was reported as banging loudly on the glass doors of the Rockvale Grotto Apartment Rental leasing office. When informed that it was after office hours, Blaine insisted the doors be open because he pays their salaries.
Upon being granted entry, Susan Tisdale, the leasing associate running the office that day, reported that Mr. Reed appeared exhausted and out of breath as he hauled a black construction trash bag behind him. Mr. Reed than began to empty the contents of the bag onto the leasing office floor, revealing a purported 63 different watches.
After inquiring as to the meaning of Mr. Reed’s actions, Ms. Tisdale shared with authorities that Mr. Reed then began to section off the watch boxes into 3 categories: “classy minimalist,” “baller sporty,” and “fly.”
“Listen, this is just insane,” Mr. Reed continued to our crew. “The retail value of these watches alone could pay for 3 years of my rent.” We asked Mr. Reed how he acquired the watches. “These brands are all about fair pricing, top quality, and cutting out the middleman, you know? They come to me to help spread the word on what they do. So they send me a watch to review.” We asked why Mr. Reed kept all the watches and didn’t return them or share them with his audience. “That’s rude, man – why would you turn down a gift?”
After Mr. Reed asked how much he’d receive as an appearance fee for being covered in this piece, we inquired as to whether taking free watches as payments for reviews compromises his biased or unbiased position as a reviewer people can trust. Mr. Reed replied that he didn’t understand the question. But he did inform us that we could use the code BLAINEDAWG10 to receive 10% off our next purchase.

Balance Cock Bugle

Adult Diaper Purchases Spike in Anticipation of Collectors Sh**ting Themselves over Latest Rolex Reveal

PALO ALTO, CA — In the wake of COVID-19 preparation, America’s populace learned a valuable lesson in emergency preparedness; purchase all the toilet paper you can. What can’t be purchased, steal. Silicon Valley’s aspiring tech moguls won’t be fooled twice and have applied the same logic toward adult diaper hoarding, well-aware of the news that Rolex has been leaking updates for their latest releases. Enthusiasts everywhere are primed for soiling themselves.
“As an entrepreneur, anticipating unexpected needs has been my biggest disruption to competitive markets,” says Andrew Chang, CEO to several start-ups he describes as “the Uber of crypto-currency and general pivoting.” “There’s a new rat race on the horizon,” he continues. “Everybody will be pre-occupied with acquiring the latest Rolex but nobody’s factoring the secondary effects here—rampant involuntary control of bowels at the next Redbar watch meet-up. Sure, you’ll try to play it cool when somebody finally drops the latest Blueberry Sub in front of your next watch pile… but good luck trying to hide the explosive excrement running down the pant leg of your chinos.”
Andrew is currently developing an application that will allow users to trade diaper stock quantity, while values are expected to fluctuate based on trending Rolex-related SEO data. “Posturing ourselves to be proactive through diversification has been the foundation of our success. Times change, but monetizing Rolex hysteria is ever-present.”
When questioned how this could impact local hospice needs or convalescent care for seniors, he’s continued to dismiss the concern. “You mean the generation responsible for carbon emissions, global warming, and systemic prejudices? You can’t be serious…”

Balance Cock Bugle

Bahamian Vacationer Drowns Due To Bezel Play

NASSAU, BAHAMAS — Randal Baker drowned early Sunday morning while on vacation with his family in the Bahamas. The event occurred just after an incident between the 32-year old accountant and the tour guide for Sunny Fun Day Underwater Tours.
“I don’t understand. I told Mr. Baker that it was time to surface,” Ramon, their tour guide explained “But he just kept looking at his watch and saying something about ISO standards and asking me if my Apple Watch was ISO COSC.” Ramon paused and then added in confusion “I wasn’t wearing an Apple Watch. I don’t know why he thought I was.”
Mr. Baker’s wife recalled how much her husband was looking forward to this vacation.
“I would wake up some nights and he’d be next to me on his phone, looking up different diver watches and reading reviews. ‘I need to make sure I can find something that will hold up to our dive.’
‘Honey,’ I’d tell him, ‘the Sunny Fun Day Underwater Tour website says it’s only 15 ft, won’t your Oris be fine?’
‘The Diver 65?! Are you crazy – it’s only 10 ATM!’ Eventually he bought a [redacted], calling it his ‘adventure’ watch'”
However, while readjusting his chest mounted GoPro underwater, experts determined that the bezel had just enough play to cost Randal his life.
The Sunny Dive Tour team was monitoring their dive time on a cellphone from the boat and keeping in radio contact with each other. But Mr. Baker had been monitoring the dive time on his newly acquired ‘Adventure Watch’ – the [redacted]. After the bezel play had occurred, there was a one to two minute discrepancy between the two monitored dive times.
Despite pleas and protests to resurface from the 15ft shallow dive, his last recorded words were to the effect that COSC ISO and the Watchfam wouldn’t let him down.

Balance Cock Bugle

Watch Collector Optimistic with Latest Acquisition’s Potential to Raise His Sex Appeal

SEATTLE, WA—Having come across a flattering photo of Ryan Reynolds in a Google search for “celebrity watch brands,” Melvin Greenberg, 41, was convinced, “This is the one. This is the one that will finally get me laid.”
Before Piaget, Melvin had trialed several different watch companies with mixed celebrity endorsements, none of which had proven fruitful. He was convinced that the Tag Heuer Carrera, backed by the star power of Tom Brady and actor Brad Pitt, would have been a little overkill… but that, too, appeared faulty in effect. Sure enough, politics have a tendency to make their way into sponsorships which could have muddied the waters—alliances are frequently broken and re-established. Pitt, for example, had been swapped out by Tag for Leonardo DiCaprio.
Melvin believes, “It’s possible women were confused by the switch because now Brad Pitt’s an ambassador for Breitling. I can barely keep up with this, myself.” Against his better judgement, Melvin had purchased a Breitling Chronomat (just to be sure), even though he knew there was no mistaking him for a pilot.
With Reynolds’ Deadpool 2 having earned $786 million at the box office, a new record was set for the highest grossing rated R-film of all time. Reynolds’ persona had become synonymous with Deadpool’s—a relationship that would surely become tantamount for Piaget in return—and indistinguishably linked to how Melvin would be perceived.
For Melvin, it was the final touch to his innuendo-heavy profession of mattress sales, where he knew women would subliminally associate him with, “comfort and dreamscapes,” among “other forms of horizontal refreshment.”
Main Photo Credit: Mr Guy Aroch (mrporter.com)

Balance Cock Bugle

Ebay Seller Lists, “Used/Superb Leather Hodinkee Straps – in USED, Honest Condition, See Comments. No Returns.”

MIAMI, FLORIDA — “Super discount! These aren’t just any leather watch straps… these are extremely high quality Hodinkee-brand straps,” says WatchHead1775, “not your cheap Amazon ones.”
Included in the lot are three pairs at fifty percent off retail for a BuyItNow price of $528 + $75 shipping—a bargain to any enthusiast who’s been coveting a watch strap bearing the website’s stamp.
Among the conditions noted the seller assures, “At least forty percent more life left in them (give or take). All have a couple extra holes made (sometimes on hot, muggy days my wrists expand but not enough to go into the next hole so I had to make some custom adjustments). Typical wrist smell and salt-sweat marks on the inside are to be expected. Discoloration where it’s been bent against the tang buckle is normal. Minor fraying along thread but this is also normal—a shoe repair guy can fix for nothing. The two crocodile straps were originally glossy but now they’ve got a matte texture (matte ones actually cost more on their website).”
While WatchHead1775 has done their due diligence to “scrape off most of the wrist cheese” they wish to highlight, “What you see is what you get. No low-balling. No returns! Looking to save up for some new ones because I’m not a huge fan of the distressed look.”
At the time of this post, no serious offers have been considered.
submitted by chronoplaid to u/chronoplaid [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 17:11 tatoorel Hiking Tips and Experience of Using OsmAnd - Interview with Olivier

Hiking Tips and Experience of Using OsmAnd - Interview with Olivier

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Hello!
Are you safe and warm? We hope that you are snug as a bug in a rug! If so, you are welcome to dig in our interview.

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It is September already. This month is usually not too cold or rainy. Once outside we can still feel the summer warmth on our faces. Not for long though. Fall has its own rules, not all of us appreciate it and call this season melancolic. Others, however, find joy in rain and mild temperatures it brings.

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Here comes Olivier, who is our guest today. He mainly travels by car; however, occasionally he will take the train or plane.

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“Otherwise, I do a lot of hiking around my home in Spain within a radius of a hundred kilometres, and also when I go to my parents' house in France with my family.”
Olivier says that he has been traveling forever! All started in his childhood, when his parents took their son with them. When Olivier was 18 he started discovering the world on his own. He has been traveling ever since from time to time bringing friends or his girlfriend along.

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“I started using OsmAnd about 5 years ago, but only as a GPS for the car. HERE was the first location platform I used but then I opened my eyes to the importance of free open source software. After having searched for a while I discovered OsmAnd. Since this summer, I have been using it also for hiking. Before, I used Oruxmaps to have topographic maps and aerial views of the region in addition to the OSM maps downloaded from OpenAndroMaps. I have been using the OSM maps for a long time and have been actively collaborating on this project for a year and a half. I have already replaced Oruxmaps with OsmAnd because this summer I discovered how to add topographic maps and aerial views directly to OsmAnd. This discovery made me very happy!”
When we ask Olivier whether he prepares his maps before traveling, he says that he does. Downloading the OSM maps is enough for car trips. However, for hiking he does a bit more.

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“I create atlases in OSMAND SQLITE format of the places I go to thanks to MOBAC, one for the aerial photos and another for the topographic map. In OsmAnd, I put the OSM main layer, the aerial photos as an underlayer and the topographic map as an overlayer. This allows me to switch between the two with the cursor at the bottom of the screen, which I find very practical.”

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There are three functions that Olievier appreciates the most. The first one is the ability to import maps from not only OSM but from other sources as well. He gives examples of French and Spanish IGN (Institut Geographique National) from WMTS servers that he uses as an underlayer or overlayer with an ability to easily switch from one to another. The second feature is the flexibility of means one can use in OsmAnd. The program takes into account the mode you choose and applies various characteristics based on that choice. And the third one is the ability to follow and record a track.

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“I often go hiking in groups and we go in several cars. Almost all people use Gmaps and many times they cannot find the start of the hiking trip, or they make big detours to get there, or they are just totally lost. The first time it happened I was in the car that was following. Suddenly everyone stopped. "We're lost," said the driver of the first car. So I got out of the car and said: "I know you’re lost. But don't you have a GPS?" And he said "Yes, but it shows me a road that doesn't exist, there has been some road construction done recently and it's changed everything. Look at this!". So I said "Don’t worry, just follow me." When we reached our destination they asked me "How did you do that?" And I said "I simply have a magical app!" Now they trust me and OsmAnd more than their phone with Gmaps. But they don't know how to use their phone properly, so they don't want to install OsmAnd, which to them seems like a monster. That’s a pity! Furthermore, they all use the Wikiloc application for hiking, which is a pity as well! One day I will definitely give them a class on how to use OsmAnd, at least to those who are more comfortable with their smartphones.”

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It is not a secret that it is much easier to control the battery on your device or recharge it if needed while traveling by car.
“For long car journeys I have to plug my phone into the socket as the screen stays on all the time. I don't find it particularly convenient. For hiking, I switch the screen on and off manually, so there is no problem. The battery holds well.”

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Olivier suggested a few improvements to the app. He would like the display to turn off and on automatically. For instance, it will not be active on a motorway, but will light up once there is something to report. Another issue is the width of the GPX track drawn on the map, which he would like to be able to change. The last thing Olivier would like to improve a bit is the screen. In particular, he would like to see the number of kilometres til the location of the next two rest areas on it.

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We thank Olivier and other users, who choose OsmAnd for traveling, who put their efforts into developing the Open Street Map, and those who read our blog! Enjoy those rare warm days of the fall and share the warmth with others.

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Never give up.
Bye!

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______________________________
OsmAnd at Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit!
Join us at our groups of Telegram (EN), (IT), (FR), (DE), (RU), (UA), (ES).
submitted by tatoorel to OsmAnd [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 15:23 pmuens How you can use your Customer Support system to start your Content Marketing efforts today

Working on your business and delivering value is important but how do you get the word out and your product in front of your target audience? The answer to this question is marketing.
Oftentimes marketing is considered to be something that should better be outsourced to an agency or freelancer. Learning just enough marketing to be dangerous takes time and effort. Plus it's tough to figure out where to start. Should you try Google Ads and PPC to drive more traffic? How do they compare to Facebook Ads? Isn't it more powerful to leverage Content Marketing these days? What are the best channels you can use to reach your future customers?
All those questions usually lead to neglecting the marketing part altogether. If you "build something amazing, they will come", right? Probably but most of the time it's a good idea to tap into some marketing channels to connect with your users and showcase them the value your product provides.
So what is a good starting point to get the ball rolling? Is there a time- and resource efficient way to start with product marketing today?
Yes, there is! Let's explore how you can use your customer support system to inform your product marketing strategy.

Customer Support-driven Marketing

Chances are that if you're running a product business you're also offering a way for your customers to get support. It doesn't matter if it's a fully-fledged CRM or your own Gmail inbox. If your customers have a way to send support requests you have everything you need to start your low-effort marketing today!
What you want to do is to browse through your support queue. Look at all the questions people are asking about your product. Are there patterns or themes you can uncover? Are there any questions that are asked more than once?
Rather than creating yet another FAQ entry and calling it a day take some time to turn the issue your customer was facing into a fully-fledged blog post. The headline should be a variation of the original question such as "How do I with ". Next up you write a couple of paragraphs describing the problem in depth. After that you create section where you talk about the feature your product offers to solve the problem. This section should be followed by a step-by-step guide on how to solve the aforementioned problem via the feature of your product. Conclude your post and add a clear Call-to-Action (Next steps) such as a link to your sign-up page or a Newsletter subscription box.
Keep in mind that the main goal of your post should be to describe the problem and show a way how your product can be used to solve the issue at hand.
500 - 1000 words should be more than enough to accomplish this.

The benefits of Customer Support-driven Marketing

Every day millions of people use search engines to find solutions to their problems. Wouldn't it be great if articles about your product show up in the search results when people are already looking for solutions? Using this strategy is a form of Content Marketing which helps you rank for search terms your future customers are using to solve their problems. There's no need to do excessive keyword research because it's highly likely that the content you'll write will naturally include the keywords in question.
Another huge benefit of this approach is that it's comparably "cheap" in terms of time- and resource investments. If you take only 30 minutes each day to sit down and turn one support request into a blog post you'll eventually produce dozens of quality blog posts which do not only showcase the values your product provides but also helps you answer similar support requests in the future since you can simply share the article with your customer (if they'll ever come up again).
Plus you don't have to hire an agency or freelancer which might be a more expensive option.
Using Customer Support-driven Marketing is a cheap and easy way to get your marketing machinery up- and running today.
I hope that this post was helpful for you and demonstrated that starting with marketing doesn't have to be that hard.
You can find the original blog post which goes into more detail and provides an example blog post structure at: https://philippmuens.com/customer-support-driven-marketing/
submitted by pmuens to Entrepreneurship [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 15:21 pmuens How you can use your Customer Support system to start your Product Marketing today

Working on your business and delivering value is important but how do you get the word out and your product in front of your target audience? The answer to this question is marketing.
Oftentimes marketing is considered to be something that should better be outsourced to an agency or freelancer. Learning just enough marketing to be dangerous takes time and effort. Plus it's tough to figure out where to start. Should you try Google Ads and PPC to drive more traffic? How do they compare to Facebook Ads? Isn't it more powerful to leverage Content Marketing these days? What are the best channels you can use to reach your future customers?
All those questions usually lead to neglecting the marketing part altogether. If you "build something amazing, they will come", right? Probably but most of the time it's a good idea to tap into some marketing channels to connect with your users and showcase them the value your product provides.
So what is a good starting point to get the ball rolling? Is there a time- and resource efficient way to start with product marketing today?
Yes, there is! Let's explore how you can use your customer support system to inform your product marketing strategy.

Customer Support-driven Marketing

Chances are that if you're running a product business you're also offering a way for your customers to get support. It doesn't matter if it's a fully-fledged CRM or your own Gmail inbox. If your customers have a way to send support requests you have everything you need to start your low-effort marketing today!
What you want to do is to browse through your support queue. Look at all the questions people are asking about your product. Are there patterns or themes you can uncover? Are there any questions that are asked more than once?
Rather than creating yet another FAQ entry and calling it a day take some time to turn the issue your customer was facing into a fully-fledged blog post. The headline should be a variation of the original question such as "How do I with ". Next up you write a couple of paragraphs describing the problem in depth. After that you create section where you talk about the feature your product offers to solve the problem. This section should be followed by a step-by-step guide on how to solve the aforementioned problem via the feature of your product. Conclude your post and add a clear Call-to-Action (Next steps) such as a link to your sign-up page or a Newsletter subscription box.
Keep in mind that the main goal of your post should be to describe the problem and show a way how your product can be used to solve the issue at hand.
500 - 1000 words should be more than enough to accomplish this.

The benefits of Customer Support-driven Marketing

Every day millions of people use search engines to find solutions to their problems. Wouldn't it be great if articles about your product show up in the search results when people are already looking for solutions? Using this strategy is a form of Content Marketing which helps you rank for search terms your future customers are using to solve their problems. There's no need to do excessive keyword research because it's highly likely that the content you'll write will naturally include the keywords in question.
Another huge benefit of this approach is that it's comparably "cheap" in terms of time- and resource investments. If you take only 30 minutes each day to sit down and turn one support request into a blog post you'll eventually produce dozens of quality blog posts which do not only showcase the values your product provides but also helps you answer similar support requests in the future since you can simply share the article with your customer (if they'll ever come up again).
Plus you don't have to hire an agency or freelancer which might be a more expensive option.
Using Customer Support-driven Marketing is a cheap and easy way to get your marketing machinery up- and running today.
I hope that this post was helpful for you and demonstrated that starting with marketing doesn't have to be that hard.
You can find the original blog post which goes into more detail and provides an example blog post structure at: https://philippmuens.com/customer-support-driven-marketing/
submitted by pmuens to Entrepreneurs [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 15:14 pmuens How you can use your Customer Support system to start your Content Marketing efforts

Working on your business and delivering value is important but how do you get the word out and your product in front of your target audience? The answer to this question is marketing.
Oftentimes marketing is considered to be something that should better be outsourced to an agency or freelancer. Learning just enough marketing to be dangerous takes time and effort. Plus it's tough to figure out where to start. Should you try Google Ads and PPC to drive more traffic? How do they compare to Facebook Ads? Isn't it more powerful to leverage Content Marketing these days? What are the best channels you can use to reach your future customers?
All those questions usually lead to neglecting the marketing part altogether. If you "build something amazing, they will come", right? Probably but most of the time it's a good idea to tap into some marketing channels to connect with your users and showcase them the value your product provides.
So what is a good starting point to get the ball rolling? Is there a time- and resource efficient way to start with product marketing today?
Yes, there is! Let's explore how you can use your customer support system to inform your product marketing strategy.

Customer Support-driven Marketing

Chances are that if you're running a product business you're also offering a way for your customers to get support. It doesn't matter if it's a fully-fledged CRM or your own Gmail inbox. If your customers have a way to send support requests you have everything you need to start your low-effort marketing today!
What you want to do is to browse through your support queue. Look at all the questions people are asking about your product. Are there patterns or themes you can uncover? Are there any questions that are asked more than once?
Rather than creating yet another FAQ entry and calling it a day take some time to turn the issue your customer was facing into a fully-fledged blog post. The headline should be a variation of the original question such as "How do I with ". Next up you write a couple of paragraphs describing the problem in depth. After that you create section where you talk about the feature your product offers to solve the problem. This section should be followed by a step-by-step guide on how to solve the aforementioned problem via the feature of your product. Conclude your post and add a clear Call-to-Action (Next steps) such as a link to your sign-up page or a Newsletter subscription box.
Keep in mind that the main goal of your post should be to describe the problem and show a way how your product can be used to solve the issue at hand.
500 - 1000 words should be more than enough to accomplish this.

The benefits of Customer Support-driven Marketing

Every day millions of people use search engines to find solutions to their problems. Wouldn't it be great if articles about your product show up in the search results when people are already looking for solutions? Using this strategy is a form of Content Marketing which helps you rank for search terms your future customers are using to solve their problems. There's no need to do excessive keyword research because it's highly likely that the content you'll write will naturally include the keywords in question.
Another huge benefit of this approach is that it's comparably "cheap" in terms of time- and resource investments. If you take only 30 minutes each day to sit down and turn one support request into a blog post you'll eventually produce dozens of quality blog posts which do not only showcase the values your product provides but also helps you answer similar support requests in the future since you can simply share the article with your customer (if they'll ever come up again).
Plus you don't have to hire an agency or freelancer which might be a more expensive option.
Using Customer Support-driven Marketing is a cheap and easy way to get your marketing machinery up- and running today.
I hope that this post was helpful for you and demonstrated that starting with marketing doesn't have to be that hard.
You can find the original blog post which goes into more detail and provides an example blog post structure at: https://philippmuens.com/customer-support-driven-marketing/
submitted by pmuens to startups [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 15:11 pmuens How you can use your Customer Support system to start your Product Marketing today

Working on your business and delivering value is important but how do you get the word out and your product in front of your target audience? The answer to this question is marketing.
Oftentimes marketing is considered to be something that should better be outsourced to an agency or freelancer. Learning just enough marketing to be dangerous takes time and effort. Plus it's tough to figure out where to start. Should you try Google Ads and PPC to drive more traffic? How do they compare to Facebook Ads? Isn't it more powerful to leverage Content Marketing these days? What are the best channels you can use to reach your future customers?
All those questions usually lead to neglecting the marketing part altogether. If you "build something amazing, they will come", right? Probably but most of the time it's a good idea to tap into some marketing channels to connect with your users and showcase them the value your product provides.
So what is a good starting point to get the ball rolling? Is there a time- and resource efficient way to start with product marketing today?
Yes, there is! Let's explore how you can use your customer support system to inform your product marketing strategy.

Customer Support-driven Marketing

Chances are that if you're running a product business you're also offering a way for your customers to get support. It doesn't matter if it's a fully-fledged CRM or your own Gmail inbox. If your customers have a way to send support requests you have everything you need to start your low-effort marketing today!
What you want to do is to browse through your support queue. Look at all the questions people are asking about your product. Are there patterns or themes you can uncover? Are there any questions that are asked more than once?
Rather than creating yet another FAQ entry and calling it a day take some time to turn the issue your customer was facing into a fully-fledged blog post. The headline should be a variation of the original question such as "How do I with ". Next up you write a couple of paragraphs describing the problem in depth. After that you create section where you talk about the feature your product offers to solve the problem. This section should be followed by a step-by-step guide on how to solve the aforementioned problem via the feature of your product. Conclude your post and add a clear Call-to-Action (Next steps) such as a link to your sign-up page or a Newsletter subscription box.
Keep in mind that the main goal of your post should be to describe the problem and show a way how your product can be used to solve the issue at hand.
500 - 1000 words should be more than enough to accomplish this.

The benefits of Customer Support-driven Marketing

Every day millions of people use search engines to find solutions to their problems. Wouldn't it be great if articles about your product show up in the search results when people are already looking for solutions? Using this strategy is a form of Content Marketing which helps you rank for search terms your future customers are using to solve their problems. There's no need to do excessive keyword research because it's highly likely that the content you'll write will naturally include the keywords in question.
Another huge benefit of this approach is that it's comparably "cheap" in terms of time- and resource investments. If you take only 30 minutes each day to sit down and turn one support request into a blog post you'll eventually produce dozens of quality blog posts which do not only showcase the values your product provides but also helps you answer similar support requests in the future since you can simply share the article with your customer (if they'll ever come up again).
Plus you don't have to hire an agency or freelancer which might be a more expensive option.
Using Customer Support-driven Marketing is a cheap and easy way to get your marketing machinery up- and running today.
I hope that this post was helpful for you and demonstrated that starting with marketing doesn't have to be that hard.
You can find the original blog post which goes into more detail and provides an example blog post structure at: https://philippmuens.com/customer-support-driven-marketing/
submitted by pmuens to indiebiz [link] [comments]


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